tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post2804839615669518248..comments2024-01-30T05:22:06.674-08:00Comments on A Majority of Two: I Am Not A Good FriendJohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03382221688268676914noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-29659928797198457012009-03-24T19:30:00.000-07:002009-03-24T19:30:00.000-07:00True good friendship starts and ends way before th...True good friendship starts and ends way before the death of someone. Going through a terminal illness of my husband, we have lost many close friends I never thought i would see diaapear..so them coming around after his death will not make me feel like they are good friends. Friendships should beckon to you when your friend is in need and when they are not. If you have been a good friend your friend will know and you will be able to repair what you think you might have done to damage it, but some friendships are irrepairable as I've come to see that some good friendships aren't what they seemed to be after being put to a test. I'm just saying....Faithfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13741908670860841531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-53288120422059011082009-03-24T15:39:00.000-07:002009-03-24T15:39:00.000-07:00Ok, lets go with what you're saying, in that you m...Ok, lets go with what you're saying, in that you maybe let your friend down.<BR/><BR/>It's not the end of the world, and it can be repaired........ just somehow let her, (or is it 'him'?) know how sorry you are, and reach out to try and put it right. A good friendship should be able to survive a mistake, or mistakes, and will most likely be stronger for it. <BR/><BR/>If it really is broken, take the first step to fixing it. It’ll prolly be easier to do, and be better received, than you think.<BR/>K.xSlurryoffagrapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17616438111921039815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-82547290876311000472009-03-24T14:43:00.000-07:002009-03-24T14:43:00.000-07:00No, I am not a good friend, and I hurt my friend. ...No, I am not a good friend, and I hurt my friend. Mea culpa.<BR/><BR/><EM>Mea maxima culpa.</EM><BR/><BR/>I was not a good friend. I should have been a better friend, and I wasn't.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03382221688268676914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-46217727462810620562009-03-24T11:44:00.000-07:002009-03-24T11:44:00.000-07:00Jo, I have to agree with Deb on this post - you ar...Jo, I have to agree with Deb on this post - you are being too hard on yourself. Sometimes,a big hug or holding one's hand or simply looking eye-to-eye are acts of friendship that speak volumes to the soul when we cannot find the words. Also, as you heal from your own loss,you will find a greater capacity to help heal others. Be kind to yourself and forgiving for being beautifully human.Paula Sladehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02923061193682673368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-68696275017275182192009-03-24T09:53:00.000-07:002009-03-24T09:53:00.000-07:00Everything I know about you tells me that you are ...Everything I know about you tells me that you are someone I would like to have as a Real Life Friend because of your loyalty and caring. Sometimes just being there is the best way to help another. <BR/><BR/>I'm sorry for your friend's pain and agree that it's so much worse, even, when there is discord (or greed) in the family. In cases like that, the real mourning begins after all the ceremonies are dealt with, and that is when a long walk or a dinner invitation might be most helpful.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-39703514429696421532009-03-24T09:50:00.000-07:002009-03-24T09:50:00.000-07:00You are right when you say the pain of losing a pa...You are right when you say the pain of losing a parent is great. Oh I thank God everyday that I still have mine around, and live in constant fear of the inevitable..I dont know how i will cope, especially since I made some bad decisions in life and brought them much grief.budh.aaahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13277544197089022458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-68828834253582684882009-03-24T00:25:00.000-07:002009-03-24T00:25:00.000-07:00I think we all feel same, at least at some point i...I think we all feel same, at least at some point in our life. <BR/><BR/>JO, is that painting yours? i really love it, sp the flower holder.white crowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03869386916252021837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-12905974367155256272009-03-23T20:51:00.000-07:002009-03-23T20:51:00.000-07:00Jo, your friend knows you are there for him. That ...Jo, your friend knows you are there for him. That is a great source of strength, much better than words, and deeds. More often in such curcumstances silence is better than vocals, speciaaly where other family members intrude. He has to deal with it however ugly, and knowing you are there to share is bigger than being just good friends.<BR/>take care, pass on your inner strength.introspectionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10820207734329529880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-35270132265202446392009-03-23T19:57:00.000-07:002009-03-23T19:57:00.000-07:00I can't imagine you not being a good friend there ...I can't imagine you not being a good friend there for I believe it is in your head. In those situations there is only so much you can do and often that means standing and waiting till its your time to be there for them.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778054413371087920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-67620658193806814552009-03-23T18:41:00.000-07:002009-03-23T18:41:00.000-07:00I have to agree with Leah. Second guessing yourse...I have to agree with Leah. Second guessing yourself thinking you aren't doing enough probably means you are. Then again, we are our own worst critic.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09076194149640604198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-88849544130101864282009-03-23T17:50:00.000-07:002009-03-23T17:50:00.000-07:00The fact that you feel inadequate in comforting yo...The fact that you feel inadequate in comforting your friend says a great deal about the kind of friend you are. I'd be grateful for a friend like you.Leah Fryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18158981037468411293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-81611574794533173692009-03-23T17:29:00.000-07:002009-03-23T17:29:00.000-07:00I know your heart, Josie, and it is full of compas...I know your heart, Josie, and it is full of compassion and mercy. Send her a card with a few words from your heart - it could mean the world to her.Leslie:https://www.blogger.com/profile/11964698251137788839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-21228296378711857372009-03-23T17:06:00.000-07:002009-03-23T17:06:00.000-07:00Thanks everyone. I hope my friend feels better so...Thanks everyone. I hope my friend feels better soon. I haven't been a very good friend, I must admit. Not good at all.<BR/><BR/>Oh, well...Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03382221688268676914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-5748411829560296232009-03-23T16:40:00.000-07:002009-03-23T16:40:00.000-07:00I think it has been said many times here.Silently ...I think it has been said many times here.<BR/><BR/>Silently serve. Make your friend feel better regardless of how that makes you feel ie,like you couldn't do more...<BR/><BR/>After my father passed away I cherished the people who treated me normally and didn't try to analyze everything and ask if I was OK every 5 minutes. I know they meant well but it almost seemed like they wanted me to cry.<BR/><BR/>Again, I know they meant well.<BR/><BR/>Peace - ReneAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05088944123595868347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-11241160353992531892009-03-23T16:25:00.000-07:002009-03-23T16:25:00.000-07:00I agree with Gritsmom's words. And even if you can...I agree with Gritsmom's words. And even if you can't be there in person to bring food and clean the house, your friend knows that you're with Him in all your thoughts and feelings.DUTAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12979375799258978432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-75028015055985570922009-03-23T15:43:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:43:00.000-07:00Of course, I don't know exactly what you're talkin...Of course, I don't know exactly what you're talking about...and it's none of my business. But I think I know who your friend is. And I also know that you mean a lot to him. A heck of a lot! It's so difficult to know what to say or do in these circumstances. He knows you have a good heart and he knows you care for him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-56707689579139273202009-03-23T15:33:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:33:00.000-07:00Nope, I don’t buy it hunnybunch :o)You’ve way too ...Nope, I don’t buy it hunnybunch :o)<BR/>You’ve way too much natural kindness and insight to be a bad friend, Just let her know you’re there, and I’m sure she’ll be glad of you when it’s all quietened down, and all the well intentioned promises of ‘friend’s’ help have withered away, as it invariably does.<BR/><BR/>Some friends are in for the Long Haul.<BR/><BR/>I believe think a written letter is sooooooo precious. It can be carried for a lifetime, and read again and again in times of need.<BR/><BR/>Letters are a lost treasure these days……….. emails have gone some way to restore the written communication between people, but NOTHING can replace a loved paper-and-ink letter. I’ll bet you know what I mean. :o)<BR/><BR/>I reckon a letter from you would be something she always keeps. <BR/><BR/>Chin up all the way over there. :o)<BR/><BR/>Kevin :o)Slurryoffagrapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17616438111921039815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-22063797479334458192009-03-23T15:26:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:26:00.000-07:00Yes, Jo, just being there is the best thing, even ...Yes, Jo, just being there is the best thing, even if you do not say much of anything...just being there is a great support! Do not beat yourself up so bad! You are a wonderful person.Kymhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03985984325409350599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-5583438541789222422009-03-23T15:25:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:25:00.000-07:00Jo- I'm sure he doesn't think you are a bad friend...Jo- I'm sure he doesn't think you are a bad friend. It is very difficult to help someone who has lost a loved one. Nothing you can say or do will really ease their pain. Only time can do that. To be a good friend, all you really need to do is make sure he knows you will be there for him if he needs you!<BR/><BR/>I can totally relate to the stupid garbage families bring up after the death of a family member. When my Grandparents died in 01 and 03, my Aunts and Uncle fought over everything they owned. It was like they were just waiting to get their hands on jewelery, furniture, and anything else they had their eyes on. My Mother was the only one of the siblings that truely morned their death and thought nothing of their belongings. She ended up with pretty much nothing as well. I can't understand how people can be so greedy in a time of sadness.Scoobyloves2004https://www.blogger.com/profile/03282484197204359911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-49969642667651565262009-03-23T15:04:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:04:00.000-07:00Just being there makes you a good friend. XOXOJust being there makes you a good friend. XOXOlovelyprismhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09288078574913082064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-32755583460676723222009-03-23T14:58:00.000-07:002009-03-23T14:58:00.000-07:00I remember one of my professors blasting me in her...I remember one of my professors blasting me in her Death and Dying class because I had the audacity to suggest a house on our block that had been left as a "shrine" to a daughter who had died early, could be better used to house someone living (it had been five years.) She drilled into all of our minds that grief is personal, and not to be judged AT ALL. Lesson not forgotten.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178290697351352495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-48400214096888651872009-03-23T14:51:00.000-07:002009-03-23T14:51:00.000-07:00Just be there, that's all any of us can do. Words ...Just be there, that's all any of us can do. Words don't matter so much as just being there.Kathy's Klotheslinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17881966393157941515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-14363692367438905582009-03-23T14:36:00.000-07:002009-03-23T14:36:00.000-07:00I think you are being way too hard on yourself, Jo...I think you are being way too hard on yourself, Jo. If your friend saw this post, I would bet my life on it that she wouldn't see your support in this manner. <BR/><BR/>Give yourself some credit, Jo. If I was going through something traumatic, I would welcome you to be at my side. Truly.<BR/><BR/>(((((hugs)))))<BR/>d e bDebhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04787912254932077059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-58269353184325572512009-03-23T14:32:00.000-07:002009-03-23T14:32:00.000-07:00Remember, there's nothing you can say that will ma...Remember, there's nothing you can say that will make your friend feel better...There's also nothing you can say that will make them feel any worse. Just being there for them is all that is necessary...and show love in whatever way you can...Bring food, run errands, clean house, etc.Gritsmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12807434145545259279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1518800171649154035.post-15773700852109935712009-03-23T14:24:00.000-07:002009-03-23T14:24:00.000-07:00What everybody else said. There's no easy or right...What everybody else said. There's no easy or right way to handle situations like that, just the caring way--and I'm sure that's what you did.Mary Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07835150057881066641noreply@blogger.com