The Common Cold ~~~ Ogden Nash

Of all the darndest things, one of the doctors came to work with a cold and infected everyone else. Some folks like to share, you know? It's completely ridiculous. In our organization, we have an initiative called "Infection Control" and we are required to attend seminars on how to wash our hands. For goodness sakes, I know how to wash my hands -- use hot soapy water and count the alphabet. All thoughout our offices there are little signs on everything from elevator buttons to door knobs, "5,650 people touched this button..."

*sigh*

We recently had a meeting where the Director informed everyone that if we are sick, we must stay home.

*achoo*

Does any of it work? Of course not. People still come to work sick, and they infect each other.  I guess the attitude is ... "Well, I'm already sick, so what does it matter...?"

My throat feels as if a gang of chimney sweeps is in there, scrubbing away ... my head is throbbing, I have chills and a runny nose, and I ache in places where I didn't even know I had places.  What a waste of a perfectly good weekend.

Am I going to work tomorrow?

"Well, what the heck ... I'm already sick, so what does it matter...?

*cough*

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught! ~~~ Ogden Nash