PandoraOdilon Redon, 1914
Today I did something I have not done for several months. Should I have done it? Well ... yes, but I wish I hadn't. Will I do it again? Now that I have done it once, unfortunately I am now committed to it and I will have to do it every day. Was it a wise decision? Probably one of the wisest I have ever made. I have been living in denial for too long now, and it's time to face my demons. Denial is an emotion we all use as a coping strategy. Denial and pretense. And avoidance. That's my particular favourite. Even if I know something to be true, and I cannot pretend any longer, I can still fall back on avoidance. Oh, I'm the queen of avoidance. We can get a lot of mileage out of avoidance, can't we? "I'll do it tomorrow." Usually those three coping strategies ~~ denial, pretense and avoidance ~~ follow each other in stages. "Me? No...!" Deny, deny, deny. Well, perhaps me, yes, but I will just pretend ... "No". But that little voice keeps whispering, and we go into avoidance mode, until we can no longer avoid the situation, and we have to admit, "Yes. Me ... Houston, we have a problem."
So, today, Saturday, January 28, 2012, I did something I have not done for several months.
I stepped on the bathroom scale.
Why did I pick today to do it? Oh, I don't know. I suppose today was as good as any day. The day of reckoning dawned, and I just decided to do it. Am I glad I did it? Yes. Was I shocked? Well ... yes and no. All through my denial, pretense and avoidance phases, that little voice in the back of my head kept whispering ... whispering. So, I really could not deny, pretend or avoid any longer.
The next step is action. Goodbye denial, pretense and avoidance. Hello action. We all know what it is we're doing wrong, and we all know what to do right. There are mountains of information available to us at our fingertips, and the weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. It becomes confusing after a while, but in simple terms, in order to lose weight we require a 1,200 calorie diet that would consist of no more than 660 calories from carbohydrates, 180 from protein, and 360 from fat. This is the premise of all weight loss diets such as Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig.
And no more Purdy's dark chocolate-covered marzipan. Or butter chicken. Or peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. At least for a while.
Oh, don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a weight-loss blog, but I will let you know how I'm doing. Wish me luck.
You are not alone on this journey. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDearest Jo,
ReplyDeleteSomething I've struggled with off and on all my life. And I just did the same thing two weeks ago and went on Weight Watchers. For me, it will be a long, long road because I am so necessarily inactive.
But whatever the road, you are such a light that I have every faith in you. AND I wish you luck. Shame is my biggest thing there. Pure shame, rather than denial. I think that the weight overwhelms any beauty I may have inside or out. That I am a failure because I gained the weight.
But then I realize that health is the true issue. A yearning to live as long and as richly as possible and what we put in our mouths matters. DAMN. I wish it didn't.
And you and I are not likely to write about it because our focus is on other things for the writing and the reading. The world is too interesting and full. I wish I could believe in myself as I believe in you... Oh, well, one glitch at a time!
I have no doubt that every regular follower of yours would unite in my belief in you and in my wishing you all the luck in the world. And selfishly? If you write about it, you are likely to have something in there that we identify with, learn from, or can smile at.
Good luck! May you be gentle with yourself, though!
*heh* Thanks, Calvin...! Oh, goodness it's a tough journey, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteJeanette, thank you! And yes, sometimes we do need to be kinder to ourselves. I think everyone, in some way, shares the same problem. Good luck with your Weight Watchers, and please let me know how you're doing!
I think most of us struggle with this issue, Jo. Last week, I gave up wheat and I'm feeling really good about it. Wheat is in so much and I think it might be what's contributing to my knee pain. I don't know, but I am sort of doing the Wheat Belly plan and honestly am not craving bread or cookies or snacks like I was last week. Good luck to you ~
ReplyDeleteKate, I am basically giving up wheat as well, or I should say, most grain products. And I am eating only pure foods ~~ foods my grandmother might recognize ~~ and no processed food. And nothing with soy, corn starch, or corn syrup in it. Good luck to you too! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of company, Jo. At this stage of life, health is the major motivator, at least in my case. With all the information around, we all know how to lose weight. It's simply a matter of doing it -- and that isn't simple at all! Best of luck with your weight loss efforts, Jo! And I hope it helps to know that many of us will be working toward the goal of optimal health, too!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Josie! Not that I think you need to change, but if YOU think so, then I'm behind you all the way. Now that I'm back on JC, I've discovered what it was about the diet that didn't agree with me - it was the bars. And apparently, lots of clients can't tolerate them. In lieu of the bars, I get to have one of their Chocolate Caramel Peanut Bars + one serving of milk! Now I think that's a heckova lot better! I'm feeling better already and my clothes are a bit loose. When I was just out doing a few chores, I thought I'd stop by Starbucks and get a tall light white mocha with half whip - then my guardian angel reminded me that I have diet hot chocolate at home! So that's what I'm about to make, but I AM going to have just one chocolate chip peanut butter cookie with it. So there! LOL
ReplyDeleteOh by the way, saw my doctor on Thursday and my blood sugars have gone from 7.4 to 6.3 in 3 months! Yay!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I had a similar problem when I stepped on the scale this morning. Is it possible it's more than a coincidence? Is it possible it's not us, but something wrong with the scales today? (A full moon? Sunspots? The Van Allen belt?)
ReplyDeleteluck Jo... although at our ages we are at our personal best no MATTER what that scale says! LOLOL=)
ReplyDeleteI hear you. I have been programmed since birth to eat and enjoy eating and food. It is a social thing, not just to keep the body going. Victory #1 is not to gain weight, losing it is a constant battle. Good luck and keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteat this life stage, as long as I am healthy and happy and can put on my socks I don't worry over much
ReplyDeleteAloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
I know where you're coming from Jo as I've always had a very healthy appetite and am not a big fan of exercise, other than walking.
ReplyDeleteAfter years of trying every type of fad diet, which sometimes provided results for a short period of time, I found a formula that has worked for me - primarily cutting out two (sometimes three) items that I consume on a regular (daily) basis. I was amazed to find that I lost weight over an extended period of time and have managed to keep it off without feeling deprived.
I'm rooting for you!
I am twenty pounds lighter than I was in January 2011. It was the same for me: just getting started was the hard part. I also used some online tools to help me, such as caloriecount.about.com.
ReplyDeleteI wish you lots of luck, dear!
ReplyDeleteI have been dieting for & Months now & lost almost 13kg's! :D And I have problems with my hips & back since a childhood surgery. So Iif I can, you can do! ;)
Though about the sweets, I do eat chocolate & cookies every now & then, but no more than once a week.
You don't have to avoid them fully, that will only lead to jo-jo effects & cravings in the middle of night. ;)
Once again... Godd Luck, & post about the progress every few days/weeks, yeah!?
I just say no to peanut butter and Haagen-Dasz bars.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time.
I should also say no to butter and popcorn.
You'll need a good companion to help you with dieting. I reccomend TANITA solar scale.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, the 1250 calorie works.