I promised my family I would not post photos of them here on my blog, but I could not resist sharing these with you. The girl on the left is the mom to the girl on the right. They are so similar, aren't they? Look at the feet. Isn't that a hoot? Lately I have been feeling rather nostalgic for my family. When I was a little girl growing up on Vancouver Island my family was everything to me. I could not imagine my life without my Mom and Dad, my big brothers and my Granny and Grandad. And yet, as time goes on, my family has been dispersed to the four winds, and creating their own lives and having their own families. That is the natural way.As parents, we live in a sort of uneasy trepidation about our children's lives. We want the best for them and we somehow vicariously project that they would want all the things we didn't have. But, sometimes it turns out that those are not the things they want at all. My father, for instance, loved living in a small town, and all the feeling of community that he enjoyed. When I moved to the city, he said to me, "You won't like it. In the city, you won't even get to know your next-door neighbour". He couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay in a small town. In hindsight, I realize now that he worried about me. A lot. Now I find myself doing the same thing about my family.
When our children are growing up, we can protect them from the bogeyman and all of the threats of childhood. However, when they grow up, we cannot protect them from that big, bad bogeyman known as life. We can only hope they live well and make the right decisions, not only for themselves but for their families too. Eventually the time will come -- sooner than they realize -- when their families will spin off into their own independent lives with their own families. The best we can hope for is that they have a good foundation for this before they do.
13 comments:
I have found the same thing. Both my girls have their own families now and my sisters and I see each other only at birthdays/Christmas. But as you say, that's how it should be...we make our own lives.
My son is almost 20 and will soon be out of the house. I feel him pulling away and although I know I cannot hold him back, the thought of not seeing him everyday is painful for me.OK...I am crying.
Your Ballerinas are beautiful...Degas material.
P.S. Have you seen Midnight in Paris yet?
I love the pictures. They are so pretty. Doesn't every little girl want to be a ballerina at some point in her life? And these two, well they were! Or are.
The wonderful thing about technology for me these days is that I can visit with my family on video chat with no problem at all. It makes them seem much closer; somehow seeing them and their expressions as we talk makes them seem to be right there with me. :-)
My grandparents lamented that the days of children settling close to their parents seemed to be done. Children move so far away, they thought. They lived in New York City, and we lived in Connecticut.
The best we can do is teach our children to fly--and too often they fly away, darn it all! Just so long as SOMETIMES they fly home...
Your pictures made me smile.
Amen. But as parents, we never stop worrying about them even long after their fate is no longer in our hands.
when I was younger I thought being close to my family not only physically but emotionally, would last forever. I couldn't imagine a time when they weren't in my life. And now? I can hardly remember what that life was like but there is a part of me that aches for those days again. Seeking comfort in the memories of the past...
Such are the trials and burdens of parents; to love and to let grow. Peace, Jo. You have great grandkids.
Children are for life - not just Christmas, eh Jo?
Our youngest daughter, Clare, was a *surprise* - she said Hello World some twelve years after our second child was born!
Clare is now 35 and a year ago was diagnosed with a brain tumour; an inoperable tumour. She also began having epileptic fits. Her own two children to cope with, and a massive doge de Bordeaux, Clare has remained our darling daughter and is now the epitome of courage and determination.
After more than a year since her problems started she is so bright and cheerful. We KNOW she will go on and on with her life long after we are gone.
We just know so. Absolutely.
But Jo you have to let them move down their own path, and it is easier for me to be comfortable knowing they were not brought up mean but not feckless either.
Beautiful post, Jo. I raised a ballerina myself, after having three homebody sons. The ballerina has been all over the U.S., St Petersburg, Russia, and Poland in search of her dream. The only thing that has kept me from being devastated at her absence is the knowledge that she is fulfilling her own destiny and is happy doing so.
Give both your beautiful ballerinas a big hug and wish them well for me as they pursue their ownspecial destinies.
I know that I grew up out in the country on various farms and ranches and I loved it! I would love to have been able to have raised my kids like that, but I know they would have run screaming into the night never to return if I had ever mentioned that to them. They're city kids and would not even know what to do out in the country. I guess you can't miss what you've never experienced.
It is sort of bittersweet is it not? Part of growing up is allowing your children to live their own lives. Sometimes that is much harder on us than when we parted from our parents. The biggest gift we can bestow on our children is get the hell out of the way, but be there when needed.
Our children live their own lives. Is that not why we blog?
Beautiful ballerinas. I think the fear and the worry of all the what ifs could be constant if I let it. You are right though, about hoping the foundation you've given them proves strong enough to support them through whatever life hands them. I know that one day my children will be gone, off having their own lives, and I only hope they do not wander so far that I can't continue to watch them grow. That's one of the hardest things about being so far from both of my parents-I so badly want to share my children with them yet we only see them a few times a year. Though with current technology we can at least stay connected...
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