Saturday, February 18, 2012

That's Why The Lady Is A Tramp...

Well, I just know I'm going to get voted off the island for this post. Sometimes my ideas about things are just slightly out of step with pretty much the whole rest of the world, and this is one of those times. Yesterday after work I went for dinner with a friend of mine, and music was playing in the background as we chatted. A song came on that quite literally hurt my ears and gave me an instant headache, accompanied by nausea. There was something about the voice that was actually painful to me.  I asked my friend who that was singing, and she said, "Don't you recognize her? She's everywhere now. That's Adele..."  I had heard Adele singing a couple of her award-winning songs, and I had an awful feeling that somehow I was outside the candy store.  I wanted to like her, but I just didn't.  There was something about the timbre of her voice that to my ears was jarring. Several years ago there was a strange case of a woman who had "a four-year history of recurrent episodes of a feeling of pressure in the head, epigastric distress and mental confusion" and seizures that were "triggered by the voice of a female cohost on a popular television entertainment program." "Systematic testing revealed that the seizures were precipitated only by the voice of the female cohost and not by visual stimulation, emotional anticipation or background music; by other programs with a similar; or by other female voices." That co-host was Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight. Adele's voice has that effect on me. It actually causes physical pain to my ears.  I wish it didn't; I want to like her.

This morning I was thinking that, somehow, Adele and Lady Gaga's voices got switched, and they were put into the wrong bodies.  Adele is a classic beauty, and Lady Gaga is ... well ... Lady Gaga.  But the difference is, Lady Gaga has an exquisitely beautiful voice, and she sounds natural and not at all forced.  Her voice suits Adele's face, and vice versa.  I think once Lady Gaga gets a bit older, and gets past her "shtick", she is going to become one of the classic singers of her generation. She can sing anything. When Lady Gaga did a duet with Tony Bennett, he later said, "She came in so prepared and so knowledgeable about what to do. She’s as good as Ella Fitzgerald or anybody you want to come up with."

Music for my ears...

Monday, February 13, 2012

An Elephant Never Forgets...

I am always surprised by the interesting people that I meet in the most unexpected places.  We just never know about people, do we?  They continue to surprise us.  Today, being a Monday morning, I just couldn't face doing the bus thing to work, so I decided to grab a taxi. The taxi pulled up, I hopped in and the driver turned around and said, "Hi! Nice to see you again."  I said, "Hi, nice to see you again too.  How have you been?"

I had no idea who he was.

"Well," he said, "I've been to Thailand".

"Oh," I replied, feigning interest.

He continued, "My father gave me some money, sent me to Thailand, told me to buy some land, and rescue some elephants.  So, I went to Thailand, bought some land, and rescued some wild elephants that were going to be put down."

Suddenly it occurred to me how supercilious I had been behaving towards this pleasant young man, who was clearly more than just a taxi driver. He had spent the last few months in Thailand setting up an elephant sanctuary.  He told me that he had hired some veterinarians to give each of the animals a complete medical examination.  There were 11 elephants, and one of them was pregnant, so now there would be an even dozen.  He said the land he bought was next to a jungle, and there was plenty of water for the elephants to drink and bathe in.  He said several of the elephants were from different herds, but that they were all getting to know each other. "Did you know," he said, "that elephants have greetings when they meet their friends?" "And did you know," he continued, "that elephants cry, play, and have memories ... like ... well, like elephants?" He said that elephants are very much like human beings in that they reach puberty at around 12 or 13, they can have offspring until they're almost 50, and their lifespan can reach over the age of 70.

I asked the taxi driver if he had given the elephants names, but he said he wanted to get to know them first, because they all have distinct personalities.  He said he is working in Canada long enough to save more money so he can go back to his animal sanctuary in Thailand and visit his elephants, but in the meantime his father is funding the sanctuary.

He said there is too much animal poaching, and beautiful animals like tigers and rhinoceros are being decimated.  Animal parts are sold on the black market, and there is a huge market for them in North America.  I had no idea.  Well at least now there are 11 12 elephants in Thailand that can live out their natural lives, safe from being destroyed.

We meet the most interesting people in the most unusual places.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Greatest Love Of All

The Greatest Love of All has always been one of my favourite songs. It was written by song-writer Linda Epstein and originally recorded by George Benson for the movie biography of Muhammad Ali. At the time that she wrote the song, Ms. Epstein was suffering from breast cancer.  She wanted to express her feelings about dealing with challenges in life and being strong, and passing the strength on to children. Linda Epstein died of breast cancer at the age of 36, just as Whitney Houston made the song an international hit.

When my daughter and I were in New York, Whitney Houston was very popular and her music was playing everywhere. I remember being in a taxi on the corner of Central Park South and Fifth Avenue, near the Plaza Hotel, and this song came on the radio. Occasionally there is a song that almost transcends reality for a moment, and that is what this song did for me. I looked around at New York and the wonderful buildings, with Whitney’s beautiful voice filling the air, and for me it was almost a surrealistic moment. Whenever I hear this song, I am back on the corner of Central Park South and Fifth Avenue in New York City.

Whitney Houston had one of the most beautiful, pure, clear voices of any singer. She never had to resort to warbling, but could belt out the song with strength and power. It’s beyond tragic that that beautiful voice has been silenced at the age of 48. I hate substance abuse. With a passion. It robs and it kills.

Rest in peace, Whitney. We will still have your music.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

To See Ourselves As Others See Us...

The internet is a very strange place, almost an alternate universe, where people can be whomever they want to be.  I'm not very good at alternate identities, so with my blog, it's pretty much what-you-see-is-what-you-get.  I don't post as often as I used to do, because sometimes I feel I have nothing interesting to say.  There is no point in posting just for the sake of it.  I like to write about things that interest me, and often days will go by without anything tweaking my interest, and then other days I want to post about everything.  I'm not particularly humourous, or ironic, and my blog is not a blockbuster, it's just my boring-little-blog, and I enjoy it.   I have come to know some very nice people through the cyberspace of the internet, including some really nice folks here in Vancouver.  It has been a fabulous experience for me, and has opened a lot of doors to a whole new world. There are some wonderfully interesting people out there.  And I always enjoy having a good discussion or debate.  People can agree or disagree on all sorts of issues, without personally attacking the folks with whom they disagree.  What a boring world it would be if we all had the same thoughts and ideas.  That would be no fun at all.  If people disagree on various issues, it's not personal.

So I was a bit taken aback to read the attached comment on my most recent blog post. I'm about as boring as anyone could possibly be; I have no extraordinary talents, nor do I have any extraordinary vices. I'm sort of like tapioca pudding -- bland, squishy and a little bit lumpy. It always surprises me when folks log on anonymously and leave snide remarks that are aimed at me, and really have nothing to do with the post. It puzzles me, and the first thing that comes to my mind is that the comment says more about the commenter than it does about me.  Why would anyone -- even under the guise of anonymity -- want the whole world to know that they're really a nasty person?  It makes no sense.  I don't make a habit of intentionally hurting people's feelings.  I'm sure I have done it unintentionally, but never with intent.  It would not make any sense to me to do that, and as Data on Star Trek used to say, "That does not compute".   Do folks who leave snotty comments get some sort of a rush?  "Oooh, that was a zinger..."

Beats me...

To whomever left the comment, I was never imitating anyone -- just so you know.  Often people feel self-conscious when they're speaking into a recording device, and we never really sound like ourselves.  I am always shocked to hear my voice.  "That's me?" And often we don't recognize ourselves in photographs or videos. "Who's that?" For that reason, I will never use Skype. No thenk yew...

It's always difficult for us to see ourselves as others see us; often we are not what we think we are.  But when it comes to personal comments about other people, a little kindness goes a long way.  Or as Thumper said in Bambi, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all".

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Once Upon A Secret

Raise your hands, any of you folks who have ever heard of Mimi Alford. None of you?  No, I hadn't either until now. She is the latest woman to come out of the woodwork to write a book about her affair with President Kennedy.  Mimi Alford (then Beardsley) was a 19 year-old intern in the White House, who claims to have lost her virginity to President Kennedy, and says she had an ongoing affair with him for a year and a half.  She is now a grandmother, a retired church administrator, and has written a book called Once Upon a Secret.  Odd name for a book, if it's a secret.  And why did she write about it now?

I have never been able to understand how some people feel perfectly comfortable airing their soiled laundry.  Maybe I'm sort of obtuse, but whatever happened to discretion?  What does this woman have to gain, writing a book about an extra-marital affair she had with a man 50 years ago?  It can't just be about the money.  It's no secret that JFK was a womanizer, so there may be dozens, perhaps hundreds of women out there who have similar stories to tell as Mimi Alford, but in my opinion, the ones to be respected are the ones who have actually kept their mouths shut.

On the flip side of the coin, for Christmas I received Jacqueline Kennedy, Historic Conversations on Life with John F. Kennedy.  What a wonderful book. It comes with a set of CDs of her interviews in her breathy voice.  The conversations are with Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr. and they took place a few months after JFK'S death. In one interview, Schlesinger asked Jacqueline about a pre-inaugural gala that Frank Sinatra had organized, with Hollywood stars such Nat King Cole and comedian Alan King. Jacqueline replied:

"Oh, it was all right. You know it was such a festive evening and I thought the snow was so pretty. The gala -- I didn't really -- and I had to leave half way through it. I remember one -- parts of it I liked -- I remember one thing I thought was so awful, it was a man named Alan King. He was telling all these horrible jokes about marriage -- I mean the wife is a shrew and the -- I just thought that's so sad when comedians do that. But otherwise, you know, everyone was excited."

The book is filled with candid conversations about informal dinners with Sir Winston Churchill, conversations with Nikita Kruschev, Indira Gandhi, Charles de Gaulle, and so many more.  Apparently Kruschev was a clown and a joker, and it was difficult to have a conversation with him, he joked around so much.  Who knew.  President Kennedy was particularly fond of Prime Minister Harold Macmillan, and they were very close friends, but neither President nor Jacqueline Kennedy liked Indira Gandhi.  These people are all icons of the 20th Century, and Jacqueline chats about them casually as if they were the folks down the street.  It's wonderful.

Mimi Alford should be just ever so slightly embarrassed to write a book about an affair she had with President Kennedy, if only for the fact that any woman he was involved with must have been held in bas relief as a very distant second -- or third, or fourth -- to the gracious Jacqueline Kennedy. What woman would even want to admit to that?

Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, Mimi. After half a century, you have managed to make Jacqueline Kennedy look even more refined, gracious and elegant than we remember her.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

The Ballerinas...

I promised my family I would not post photos of them here on my blog, but I could not resist sharing these with you.  The girl on the left is the mom to the girl on the right.  They are so similar, aren't they?  Look at the feet.  Isn't that a hoot?  Lately I have been feeling rather nostalgic for my family.  When I was a little girl growing up on Vancouver Island my family was everything to me.  I could not imagine my life without my Mom and Dad, my big brothers and my Granny and Grandad.  And yet, as time goes on, my family has been dispersed to the four winds, and creating their own lives and having their own families.  That is the natural way.

As parents, we live in a sort of uneasy trepidation about our children's lives.  We want the best for them and we somehow vicariously project that they would want all the things we didn't have.  But, sometimes it turns out that those are not the things they want at all.  My father, for instance, loved living in a small town, and all the feeling of community that he enjoyed.  When I moved to the city, he said to me, "You won't like it.  In the city, you won't even get to know your next-door neighbour".  He couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay in a small town.  In hindsight, I realize now that he worried about me.  A lot.  Now I find myself doing the same thing about my family.

When our children are growing up, we can protect them from the bogeyman and all of the threats of childhood.  However, when they grow up, we cannot protect them from that big, bad bogeyman known as life.  We can only hope they live well and make the right decisions, not only for themselves but for their families too.  Eventually the time will come -- sooner than they realize -- when their families will spin off into their own independent lives with their own families.  The best we can hope for is that they have a good foundation for this before they do.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Today ... The Day Of Reckoning...

Pandora
Odilon Redon, 1914

Today I did something I have not done for several months. Should I have done it? Well ... yes, but I wish I hadn't. Will I do it again? Now that I have done it once, unfortunately I am now committed to it and I will have to do it every day. Was it a wise decision? Probably one of the wisest I have ever made. I have been living in denial for too long now, and it's time to face my demons. Denial is an emotion we all use as a coping strategy. Denial and pretense.  And avoidance.  That's my particular favourite.  Even if I know something to be true, and I cannot pretend any longer, I can still fall back on avoidance.  Oh, I'm the queen of avoidance.  We can get a lot of mileage out of avoidance, can't we?  "I'll do it tomorrow."  Usually those three coping strategies ~~ denial, pretense and avoidance ~~ follow each other in stages.  "Me?  No...!"  Deny, deny, deny.  Well, perhaps me, yes, but I will just pretend ... "No".  But that little voice keeps whispering, and we go into avoidance mode, until we can no longer avoid the situation, and we have to admit, "Yes.  Me ... Houston, we have a problem." 

So, today, Saturday, January 28, 2012, I did something I have not done for several months.

I stepped on the bathroom scale.

Why did I pick today to do it?  Oh, I don't know.  I suppose today was as good as any day.  The day of reckoning dawned, and I just decided to do it.  Am I glad I did it?  Yes.  Was I shocked?  Well ... yes and no.  All through my denial, pretense and avoidance phases, that little voice in the back of my head kept whispering ... whispering.  So, I really could not deny, pretend or avoid any longer.

The next step is action.  Goodbye denial, pretense and avoidance.  Hello action.  We all know what it is we're doing wrong, and we all know what to do right.  There are mountains of information available to us at our fingertips, and the weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. It becomes confusing after a while, but in simple terms, in order to lose weight we require a 1,200 calorie diet that would consist of no more than 660 calories from carbohydrates, 180 from protein, and 360 from fat. This is the premise of all weight loss diets such as Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig.

And no more Purdy's dark chocolate-covered marzipan. Or butter chicken. Or peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. At least for a while.

Oh, don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a weight-loss blog, but I will let you know how I'm doing. Wish me luck.

Friday, January 27, 2012

"Wot's A Weekend...?"

It is no secret that I am madly in love with Downton Abbey. It's the most wonderful series to have been on PBS Masterpiece since Brideshead Revisited. The Brits really know how to do these things, don't they? Downtown Abbey is about life with the aristocratic Crawley Family, Lord and Lady Grantham and their three daughters, in their English manor house during the Edwardian era.  It is filled with drama and intrigue, and of course scandal that could ruin a young woman's life, involving a somewhat shady *gasp* foreigner. It's all there. The cast of the series is perfect, but none is more perfect than Dame Maggie Smith as Lady Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham. She's an insufferable snob, still living in an earlier generation, but she steals every scene she's in with her wonderful one-liners.  As soon as her Ladyship enters the room, we know we're in for some fun.

Lady Grantham: "You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal."

Mrs. Crawley: "I take that as a compliment."

Lady Grantham: "I must've said it wrong."

If you haven't seen Downton Abbey yet, you're in for a real treat.  In the meantime, here are some of her Ladyship's one-liners.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Muddy Waters of a Wayside Ditch...

Today is the 138th birthday of one of my favorite authors, W. Somerset Maugham. He was from a different era, but as with all classic writers, his work still holds up today, and many of his stories continue to be made into movies, such as "The Razor’s Edge" and "The Painted Veil".  Somerset Maugham understood the human condition almost more than any other writer. His stories were tales of individual frailties, transgressions and ultimately redemption. He believed we are all capable of making errors in our lives, and we are all capable of forgiveness, not only of other people, but of ourselves. When I was a teenager, I used to read my father's collection of Somerset Maugham short stories, and one of my favorites was a story called "The Judgment Seat". It left an impression on me. I had been raised in the Anglican Church, and our Minister, Reverend Horsefield, had put the fear of God into me. As a child I thought, "How can I possibly live up to God's expectations of me?" And then I read "The Judgment Seat" and it gave me a whole new understanding of God and His expectations of the human condition. So, in honour of Maugham's birthday today, I am re-posting my favourite Somerset Maugham short story. I hope you enjoy the story as much as I do.

The Judgment Seat

They awaited their turn patiently, but patience was no new thing to them; they had practiced it, all three of them, with grim determination, for thirty years. Their lives had been a long preparation for this moment and they looked forward to the issue now, if not with self-confidence, for that on so awful an occasion would have been misplaced, at all events with hope and courage. They had taken the strait and narrow path when the flowery meads of sin stretched all too invitingly before them; with heads held high, though with breaking hearts, they had resisted temptation; and now, their arduous journey done, they expected their reward. There was no need for them to speak, since each knew the other’s thoughts, and they felt that in all three of them the same emotion of relief filled their bodiless souls with thanksgiving. With what anguish now would they have been wrung if they had yielded to the passion which then had seemed so early irresistible and what a madness it would have been if for a few short years of bliss they had sacrificed that Life Everlasting which with so bright a light at long last shone before them! They felt like men who with the skin of their teeth have escaped a sudden and violent death and touch their feet and hands and, scarce able to believe that they are still are still alive, look about them in amazement. They had done nothing with which they could reproach themselves and when presently their angels came and told them that the moment was come, they would advance, as they had passed through the world that was now so far behind, happily conscious that they had done their duty. They stood a little on one side, for the press was great. A terrible war was in progress and for years the soldiers of all nations, men in the full flush of their gallant youth, had marched in an interminable procession to the Judgment Seat; women and children too, their lives brought to a wretched end by violence or, more unhappily, by grief, disease and starvation; and there was in the courts of heaven not a little confusion.

It was on account of this war, too, that those three wan shivering ghosts stood in expectation of their doom. For John and Mary had been passengers on a ship which was sunk by the torpedo of a submarine; and Ruth, broken in health by the arduous work to which she had so nobly devoted herself, hearing of the death of the man whom she had loved with all her heart, sank beneath the blow and died. John, indeed, might have saved himself if he had not tried to save his wife; he had hated her; he had hated her to the depths of his soul for thirty years; but he had always done his duty by her and now, in the moment of dreadful peril, it never occurred to him that he could do otherwise.

At last their angels took them by the hand and led them to the Presence. For a little while the Eternal took not the slightest notice of them. If the truth must be told he was in a bad humour. A moment before there had come up for judgment a philosopher, deceased full of years and honours, who had told the Eternal to his face that he did not believe in him. It was not this that would have disturbed the serenity of the King of Kings, this could only have made him smile; but the philosopher, taking perhaps an unfair advantage of the regrettable happenings just then upon Earth, had asked him how, considering them dispassionately, it was possible to reconcile his All-Power with his All-Goodness.

“No one can deny the fact of Evil,” said the philosopher, sententiously. “Now, if God cannot prevent Evil he is not all-powerful, and if he can prevent it and will not, he is not all-good.”

This argument was of course not new to the Omniscient, but he had always refused to consider the matter; for the fact is, though he knew everything, he did not know the answer to this. Even God cannot make two and two five. But the philosopher, pressing his advantage, and, as philosophers often will, drawing from a reasonable premise an unjustifiable inference, the philosopher had finished with a statement that in the circumstances was surely preposterous. “I will not believe,” he said, “in a God who is not All-Powerful and All-Good.”

It was not then perhaps without relief that the Eternal turned his attention to the three
shades who stood humbly and yet hopefully before him. The quick; with so short a time to live, when they talk of themselves, talk too much; but the dead, with eternity before them, are so verbose that only angels could listen to them with civility. But this in brief is the story that these three recounted. John and Mary had been happily married for five years and till John net Ruth they loved each other, as married couples of the most part do, with sincere affection and mutual respect. Ruth was eighteen, ten years younger than he was, a charming, graceful animal, with a sudden and all-conquering loveliness; she was as healthy in mind as she was in body, and, eager for the natural happiness of life, was capable of achieving that greatness which is beauty of soul. John fell in love with her and she with him. But it was no ordinary passion that seized them; it was something so overwhelming that they felt as if the whole long history of the world signified only because it had led to the time and place that had brought them together. They loved as Daphnis and Chloe or as Paolo and Francesca. But after that first moment of ecstasy when each discovered the other’s love they were seized with dismay. They were decent people and they respected themselves, the beliefs in which they had been bred, and the society in which they lived. How could he betray an innocent girl, and what had she to do with a married man? Then they grew conscious that Mary was aware of their love. The confident affection with which she had regarded her husband was shaken; and there arose in her feelings of which she would never have thought herself capable, jealousy and the fear that he would desert her, anger because her possession of his heart was threatened and a strange hunger of the soul which was more painful than love. She felt that she would die if he left her; and yet she knew that if he loved it was because love had come to him, not because he had sought it. She did not blame him. She prayed for strength; she wept silent, bitter tears. John and Ruth saw her pine away before their eyes. The struggle was long and bitter. Sometimes their hearts failed them and they felt that they could not resist the passion that burned the marrow of their bones. They resisted. They wrestled with evil as Jacob wrestled with the angel of God and at last they conquered. With breaking hearts, but proud in their innocence, they parted. They offered up to God, as it were a sacrifice, their hopes of happiness, the joy of life and the beauty of the world.

Ruth had loved too passionately ever to love again and with a stony heart she turned to god and to good works. She was indefatigable. She tended the sick and assisted the poor. She founded orphanages and managed charitable institutions. And little by little her beauty which she cared for no longer left hr and her face grew as hard as her heart. Her religion was fierce and narrow, her very kindness was cruel because it was founded not on love but on reason; she became domineering, intolerant, and vindictive. And John, resigned, but sullen and angry, dragged himself along the weary years waiting for the release of death. Life lost its meaning to him; he had made his effort and in conquering was conquered; the only emotion that remained with him was the unceasing, secret hatred with which he looked upon his wife. He used her with kindness and consideration; he did everything that could be expected of a man who was a Christian and a gentleman. He did his duty. Mary, a good, faithful and (it must be confessed) exceptional wife, never thought to reproach her husband for the madness that had seized him; but all the same she could not forgive him for the sacrifice he had made for her sake. She grew acid and querulous. Though she hated herself for it, she could not refrain from saying the things that she knew would wound him. She would willingly have sacrificed her life for him, but she could not bear that he should enjoy a moment’s happiness when she was so wretched that a hundred times she had wished she was dead. Well, now she was and so were they; grey and drab had life been, but that was passed; they had not sinner and now their reward was at hand.

They finished and there was silence. There was silence in all the courts of heaven. Go to hell were the words that came to the Eternal’s lips, but he did not utter them, for they had a colloquial association that he rightly thought unfitting to the solemnity of the occasion. Nor indeed would such a decree have met the merits of the case. But his brows darkened. He asked himself if it was for this that he had made the rising sun shine on the boundless sea and the snow glitter on the mountain tops; was it for this that the brooks sang blithely as they hastened down the hillsides and the golden corn waved in the evening breeze?

“I sometimes think,” said the Eternal, “that the stars never shine more brightly than when reflected in the muddy waters of a wayside ditch.”

But the three shades stood before him and now that they had unfolded their unhappy story they could not but feel a certain satisfaction. It had been a bitter struggle, but they had done their duty. The Eternal blew lightly, he blew as a man might blow out a lighted match, and, behold! where the three poor souls had stood – was nothing. The Eternal had annihilated them.

“I have often wondered why men think I attach so much importance to sexual irregularity,” he said. “If they read my works more attentively they would see that I have always been sympathetic to that particular form of human frailty.”

Then he turned to the philosopher, who was still waiting for a reply to his remarks. “You cannot but allow,” said the eternal, “that on this occasion I have very happily combined my All-Power with my All-Goodness.”

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Separated At Birth ... ?


Sorry ... I couldn't resist. I have been trying to think who Newt reminds me of, and some things are just too much fun to pass up.

My apologies to Gnomeo.