Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Irish Humor For St. Paddy's Day...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say.  I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man.  "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:

"What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.  "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.  "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.  "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Happy St. Patrick's Day...! And remember, on St. Patrick's Day, everybody's Irish.


Cloudia said...


Aloha from Hawaii my Friend

Comfort Spiral

Teri said...

Too funny!!

dusty said...

There is nothing funny about the moment when separated twins meet for the first time.

whoever laughs should be ashamed of themselves!!!


couldn't resist

Jennifer D said...


Happy ST.Patty's Day JO.

I wish you a lucky day.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Love it!! That's a really cute story, and I haven't heard it before.

Happy St. Patrick's Day and a top o' the mornin' to ya.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

A huge body builder walks into an Irish pub and shouts out angrily "Which one of you is Paddy O'Hare?"

A tiny scrawny man gets down from his seat at the bar and walks up to the angry giant and says with a smile, "I am Paddy O'Hare."

The body builder, "Paddy O'Hare, I am going to wipe that smile off your face for what you did to my sister." and with that he punches the man hard in the face.

The man falls to the ground in pain but when he gets up everyone can see that his left eye is swollen shut but the man sniggers quietly to himself.

Seeing that, the bodybuilder gets angrier. "You think this is FUNNY? well, I'll teach you, Paddy O'Hare." And he punches the man in the mouth.

The small man reels under the force of the punch and loses several teeth but he starts to laugh out loud.

This made the bodybuilder even angrier and he punches him again and breaks a couple of ribs. "Take that, Paddy O'Hara"

The small man is having difficulty breathing but he is now laughing hysterically.

The body builder is incensed and proceeds to beat the man to a pulp until he himself was exhausted.

But still, the man now badly injured continues to laugh heartily.

Finally, the bodybuilder said, "A curse on you, Paddy O'Hara. I gave you a black eye and you laugh. I smash your teeth and you laugh even louder. I crack your ribs and still you laugh. I beat you up with all my strength and you are still laughing. I give up. Why are you laughing?!"

A weak but cheerful voice comes from the beaten up pile on the pub floor, "Hahaha,it's just so funny. The joke is on you cause I am NOT Paddy O'Hara!"

(Hmmm. helpful to have someone like that around when they come looking for the Lone Grey Squirrel)

Firefly said...

Happy St Patrick's Day to you as well. I like the saying of: May your beer always be cold and may the ground never lift to connect your face.

Like the new blog layout.

MinnieRunner said...

Ha ha ha, at first I thought he was talking to himself :D

KathyB. said...

Very funny Jo, I have not heard this one before~ Happy St. Patrick's day to you!

the walking man said...

Green Beer? Not this Casey.

DJan said...

And top o' the mornin' to YOU, Jo! Happy St. Paddy's Day and thanks for the smiles to start the day... gotta remember, GREEN today.

Land of shimp said...

Hehehe, you got me, Jo! The first laugh of the day goes to you and the drunken twins.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day :-) I'm not Irish, nor do I even own anything green. I do remember that for the longest time, I really did believe that there were no snakes in Ireland. I was in my late teens before I ever questioned that.

Saint Patrick, driving the snakes out of Ireland was something I took on faith.

Charles Gramlich said...

Got me. I thought maybe he was talking to his mirror image.

Eddie Bluelights said...

He He. Can't beat a good Irish Joke like the chap who pulled over with a puncture and an Irishman came over to cosole him by saying, "It could have been worse, the tyre is flat onlt at the bottom". When asked which way was the nearest garage the Paddy said, "To be true, it's not far from here but if I were you I wouldn't start from here!"

scarlethue said...

Haha so funny!

Kathryn said...

Good morning to you Jo! Happy St. Paddy's. :)

If you're enough lucky to be Irish...
You're lucky enough!

Thanks for your sweet comments at my blog. I always appreciate it when you visit & comment. :)

KrippledWarrior said...

Those be fightin words where I come from Lassie.
Fortunately we ain't where I come from.
Have a grrreeaaat DAY.

Kathryn said...

P.S. - i forgot to say i like the new look of your blog & i love the pic in your header. :)

Paula Slade said...

Love it! :-D