Sunday, July 15, 2012

I Live in a Vodka Commercial

For the past couple of weeks, Vancouver has been enjoying spectacular summer weather. There is no place like Vancouver in the summertime, it’s exactly like Waikiki -- simply beautiful. But, I, however, have been living in a horror show a Smirnoff vodka commercial. See these guys? They live right next door, and they and 50 or so of their closest friends have been enjoying the warm summer evenings, ten feet away from my windows. A friend of mine offered to lend me his B-B gun. I just might take him up on it. When I moved here 14 years ago, I did my research first. I work in a noisy office, and the most important thing for me when I get home is quiet. Peace and quiet. Blissful quiet. When I moved here 14 years ago, these guys next door were only ten years old. How could I have known that over the past 14 years they have been growing and percolating into 24 year-old men boys men who have just invented alcohol?


(Actual photo taken from my bedroom window...)
Friday evening after work, just as more festivities were about to break out next door, I strolled over to visit them, and chatted with them a bit. I explained that I had had the week from hell, and would just like to relax on my terrace and listen to the birds. ‘But it’s a beautiful summer evening,” one of them said. To which I replied, “Yes, but it’s also a beautiful summer evening for all of your neighbours too, and we have to go inside and close our windows and doors in order to keep out your noise.”

“Ohhhhhhh, yes, I never thought of that,” one of them replied, as the light bulb went off over his head. Then they invited me to stay and have a beer with them.

There was an interesting article I read recently about how adolescence no longer ends at age 21, but carries on until at least 35 or 40. Adultesence, is the new term for it. There is no incentive for them to be adults, so they don’t bother to grow up. It’s too much fun just carrying on – having fun. These fellows next door have some games set up in their back yard that at one time most 12 year-old kids would have put aside as being childish. And they whoop and holler all evening long, and well into the "wee hours of the morning" as they drain the beer and the vodka bottles, and get progressively more inebriated.  Have you ever heard a bunch of drunks people preppies playing badminton or croquet at 2:00 in the morning?  There's nothing like a drunk badminton player, except perhaps a drunk croquet player.  They’re not bad kids, quite decent actually. They’re all business majors in the Faculty of Commerce at UBC, but it’s like living next door to a fraternity house. About nine of them live there, and they all have friends. Lots of friends. And being twenty-somethings, they are all convinced they are the centre of the universe.

Does anyone have a quiet cabin in the woods, next to a lake, I can borrow until the rains start again?



PinkPanthress said...

They do not look like 24 year olds.
(I mean those 4 in the actual pic form your bedroom)

I guess they drank their youth away, those faces look like they are over 30. *blergh*

But at least they were being nice to you, after you explained in your ever so charmingly way for them to shut the f*ck up.

Other than that, I don't want to be old either, so I kind of understand them.

There is nor real life & good way to get old in this world these days.
Whether you live in a rich or a poor country. :(

DJan said...

I really do feel for you. Did they tone it down at ALL? Or was it only until they got sufficiently sloshed? I agree with Pink: they sure look older than twenty-somethings. They are living in the fast lane, that's for sure.

Jo said...

Yes, I think all the partying is getting to them. They actually look much younger in "real life" but they're still starting to look a little dissipated. I'm the one who will be throwing a party and celebrating when they actually graduate from university and move on. :-)

VioletSky said...

I am always amazed that some people have lost the ability to think how their actions/antics might affect other people.
Surely they are almost finished school and will need to seek real jobs?

I have a cottage for a week on the shores of Lake Huron. Come stay. I am very quiet.

Jo said...

A cottage on the shores of Lake Huron? That sounds wonnnnnnderful to me...! Can I visit? I'm very quiet too. :-)

L. D. said...

Yew we have new neighbors who wear few clothes. The guy needs to loose a lot of weight and the rap music played loudly says words that I don't want placed in my memory. I really don't know how their kids, young, will turn out with the beer and the music going on every evening.

Leslie: said...

Badminton and croquet with younger men??? I'm in!!! lol j/k

You should get a good sleep here in my comfy guest room bed. In the meantime, take them up on the beer or wine and then you can go home so dazed yourself, you'll fall asleep.

So what time do the games start? lol

muthu said...

hmhm, I am pretty ambivalent. I can see your point needing your quiet and also I love partying- cannot really say I have anything against your neighbors. I mean, if they are not going to do all that now, I am pretty sure they might never do.

I hope you get your quite soon. And I loved the title-- Got me quite curious. "I live in a vodka commercial."

Linda Myers said...

I have six sons and they all did this to some neighbor or another, I'm sure. I am so sorry.

We have a quiet daylight basement in our house just north of Seattle, and you are most welcome to stay here.

Pamela Kieffer said...

Does your community have a noise curfew after midnight? It sounds like some of your citizens should band together and see if you can't get something done.

the walking man said...

Seed the yard with bird food all kinds of bird food, seeds, fish, worms everything that may draw a crowd, everyone knows birds have no compulsion about pooping where they eat.

Jo said...

L.D., oh, goodness, you have my deepest sympathies. Winter is wonderful, isn't it? :-)

Leslie, I am really looking forward to staying at your place. It is SOOOOOOOO quiet there. :-)

Muthu, well, yes, I suppose I did my share too, but never in someone's back yard -- well, rarely. *heh*

Linda, put the coffee on! I will be right there. :-)

Blue Ridge, we do have a noise curfew, but by the time the police get here, it is hours later. *sigh*

Mark, brilliant...!!! Oh, my God. I am going out today to buy bird seed. Yes, yes, yes...! What a great idea!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I think whoever coined the term "adultescence" is onto something. There is a whole generation of kids who are still kids at an age when their own parents were responsible adults with children (them.) There is no incentive for them to grow up and I know I must be very old because their life style sounds utterly boring to me. I'm so sorry, as you know, about the dreadful racket under your windows and do think you and the other neighbors should get a petition together and take it to the city government. Somebody should do something, but they won't until enough people complain. Good luck, Jo. I wish I had a cabin to offer you.

Jo said...

Susan, oh yes, you have heard my tale of woe. The other day I was talking on the phone to Russell, and the dog next door barked, and he thought it was in my living room, that's how close they are.

There was a time when men that age were men -- not anymore.

Kimberly said...

Well Jo - have you explored the wonders of becoming a Cougar? Those guys look like fresh meat.

Paula Slade said...

I'm sorry Jo that this is still going on in your building.

I too have dealt with a few nuisance neighbors over the years and it's a real pain! I feel for you.

ivan said...

Ha-ha to Kimberley's comment above.

But a sartorial comment:

One is wearing a blue blazer and tan shorts. Is this telltale? Do they they sometimes link arms,sing madrigals and adition for amateur musicals?
Maybe not such a threat.

Certainly not like the hilarious spoof of "Dancing Bin Ladens" on an old Jay Lenno show.

Leno had said their greatest hit was "Singing in Bahrain."

Anonymous said...

I was always the quiet one but I did hang with a bunch of friends in my youth that could get themselves thrown out of coffee shops because they were just so loud .....and there was not even any alcohol involved.....just youthful enthusiasm and hi-jinks. But in hindsight, it is good to be told that there are boundaries for behaviour and that there is a time and place for everthing, including respecting other people's right for quiet.

Dash Interiors said...

What a cute blog! So excited I found it!!