The Road To H*ll Is Paved With Good Intentions

Teacher of the Peoples
Johann Valentin Haidt
1747

I believe that, over the centuries, missionaries have done a great deal of good venturing into far away lands to help other folks, but I wonder also if they have not done an equal measure of unintentional mischief. In their quest to "civilize" the inhabitants of other countries, missionaries have spread diseases unknown to those countries, along with ideas that perhaps don't fit the culture. We have seen it in our own countries, where centuries later governments have had to formally apologize for the harm done in attemping to "convert" people from their own traditions and customs, many of which were more beautiful than our own. Something has been lost in these other civilizations, something that can never been regained. Something has been stolen from them.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

The missionaries who went to Haiti to help the orphans there have been charged with kidnapping. The facts of the case are a bit murky, and I do think those folks had good intentions. However, I think they went about it in entirely the wrong way. There was a sense of arrogance in their mission. It seemed as though they felt those children would be better off if they were removed from Haiti, even though many of them still had parents who were alive. It may be true that they would be better off -- in the short term at least -- but in the long term I don't think they would be better off. As those children grew into adults they would wonder about their parents, and about the roots to their own culture. I believe they would wonder why they had been removed from it, much the same as many of the indigenous people in Canada, the US, Australia, and many other countries felt when they were removed from their families and placed in residential schools. Who are we to decide what is best for another culture?

I believe people should do all they can to aid folks who have suffered a misfortune such as the tsunami in the Indian Ocean, the hurricane in New Orleans, the earthquake in Haiti. But I think it is time we stopped trying to change other people's culture, religion, philosophies or way or living. I know those missionaries in Haiti meant well, but they got caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing. Good intentions ... bad idea.

The Overwhelming Cost Of Bullying

This afternoon I came home from work, kicked off my shoes and sat down to relax and watch the local 6:00 news. The headline news story quite literally broke my heart, and I have not been able to think about anything else. A young man -- 15 years old -- killed himself because he had been the victim of school bullying for several years. His parents had taken him out of one school and enrolled him in another, only to have the bullying continue. His grieving parents showed his photograph -- a handsome, clean-cut young man. He was well-loved by his family, but he was finding it impossible to make friends. Of course, the usual Facebook tributes are starting to pop up now, by people who are claiming to be his friends. It makes one wonder, though, where were they when he needed their friendship? If the bullying had been going on for that long, where were his teachers?

Beginning with middle school and beyond, grades seven through 12 can be loaded with shark infested waters at the best of times. Add bullying into the mix, and these years can be unbearable. If a young man or woman has anything that is just slightly different from the norm, they will be bullied. In this case, the young man had an unusual name, and unfortunately I think that may have had something to do with his being the victim of taunts. As sad as that is, parents often have to take that into consideration when they are naming their children. Like it or not, our names define us. A name that may be grand and elegant in one culture, can sound comical in another culture -- especially to kids on the playground. This young man's name was Ashkan -- a regal name in Iranian culture. A great Persian king was named Ashkan. But, put a boy with that name in amongst a bunch of yobs in a logging town on Vancouver Island, and you can be sure to expect trouble.

There is never any excuse for bullying, public humiliation, threatening someone or spreading malicious rumors, and too often it goes overlooked -- both in school and in the workplace. I have witnessed bullying, most recently with a co-worker. Management was aware of it, and they did nothing. The bully got away with her bullying tactics for several years. Finally she retired and everyone breathed a deep sigh of relief. The atmosphere has changed drastically and we are all glad she is gone. But if I had been in management, that woman's *ss would have been fired out of there years ago. Why are teachers and managers so reluctant to deal with bullies? And with the advent of technology, bullying can take on some particularly vicious forms. Facebook and other social network sites, e-mail, texting, etc., can make bullying insidious and frightening for the unfortunate victim.

I feel so sad for this boy's mother and father. Their son is gone forever, and there is no excuse or reason for it. His parents said their son dreamed of being surrounded by animals, even having his own seaside zoo as an adult. He designed a hovercraft car he wanted to run on green energy. He drew futuristic transport trucks. There is a memorial planned at both his schools on February 23th, the day that would have been his 16th birthday.

Bullying is cowardly. If you suspect someone is being victimized by a bully, or if you suspect someone is perpetrating the bullying, for goodness sake do something about it. And, I hope those kids in that small town on Vancouver Island live with the ghost of that young man forever. Maybe they will be able to prevent something similar from happening to someone else.

To The Ladies...!

Three of the amazing women nominated for best actress in the 2010 Academy Awards are no longer -- what my brother refers to as -- on the "sunny side" of 45. In fact, two of them are in their 60s. But the thing is, they are still vital, attractive, vibrant -- and yes, even sexy. I once read that Hollywood caters mostly to the age group 18 to 24, but the nominations for both best actress and best actor are well past this age group. Jeff Bridges is 60, Colin Firth is 49, George Clooney is 48 and Morgan Freeman is (*gasp*) 72. Could it be there is life after 40? 50? 60? 70?

How many of you limit yourselves and the things you do in your lives? How many of you put a label on yourselves as "too old"? I know folks in their 30s and early 40s who have started saying, "I'm old..." Omigoodness...! Why would folks want to age themselves when they are only half way through their lives? Have we allowed our society to value youth too much? George Bernard Shaw once famously said, "Youth is wasted on the young." I'm not so sure I agree. That's like saying, "Life is wasted on the living." As long as you have breath in you, you have the capacity to be all that you can be. You are the one who draws the boundaries around you -- no one else. Is youth wasted on the young? Tell that to Helen Mirren, Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep ten years from now, when they are still being nominated for Academy Awards.

Here's to the ladies...!

Cheers,

Beam Me Up...!

Time Magazine recently listed the 50 best inventions of 2009. Among them are a $10 million light bulb, a $20 knee, a bladeless fan, dandelion rubber, a human powered vending machine, an edible race car, a 3-D camera, Tweeting by thinking (huh?), the Handyman's X-ray vision, and my favorite -- teleportation. Yes! Now, that's one I like. Can you imagine? It's Sunday afternoon, you're looking for something to do -- perhaps somewhere to go for the afternoon. You sit back in your big cozy chair, close your eyes, and teleport yourself to any destination in the world. Want to visit the Louvre for the afternoon? *Poof* you're there. Have a friend you'd like to visit? "Beam me up."

Or perhaps you're having friends over for dinner, and you want to surprise them with your culinary delights. You could log onto Maxim's Restaurant in Paris, and download lobster salad on a bed of asparagus, with mixed baby greens and balsamic vinaigrette, a filet of beef with Périgueux sauce, baby vegetables in their own juice with peas and "Pommes Maxim", and a raspberry napoleon for dessert. Would your guests be impressed? Oh, goodness yes. Your guests could imbibe in all sorts of wonderful wines and liqueurs because they wouldn't have to worry about driving home afterwards. They would just step into the teleportation machine, et voila!, they are safe at home. And afterwards you could teleport the folks from Molly Maid over to do the clean-up. Is that a perfect world or what? Why has it taken so long to invent teleportation? How have we lived without it for so long?

If you could teleport yourself to any place in the world -- right now -- where would it be?

Cheers,

And The Mukmuk Goes To...!

After much deliberation picking the name out of a hat, my next door neighbor, Beth, has made her choice as to the winner of this much coveted almost-mascot to the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Drumroll please...

And the winner is -- Katy from the blog What a Great Place to be a Cow...! Katy has a fabulous blog, by the way, and is a wonderful writer. I love to find new blogs, and in particular blogs that are well-written and entertaining. Katy's blog is all of those things and more.

I had not intended this silly little contest to be a promotion of other blogs, but it so happens by chance that I have discovered quite a few blogs lately that are fabulous, and for some strange they don't get as much traffic as some other blogs -- they have not yet been discoved by the world. Often the blogs that are -- in my humble opinion -- absolutely fabulous, have a quieter activity than some of the others. Again, this is just my opinion, and it is all subjective, isn't it? There is no rhyme nor reason... Occasionally I would like to direct folks to those blogs. Now, I'm not assuming I am qualified to judge, because -- really -- are any of us qualified to judge whose posts or blogs are "good, gooder, goodest"? *heh* So it would be my opinion only, and you folks can judge for yourselves.

I have always been rather partial to Peppermint Patty in the Peanuts cartoons, so I have chosen her to pick the blogs I like. My her choices will not be on a regular basis such as weekly, monthly, or whatever, but as I she happens to find them. Often I find a new blog by someone posting a comment here, and then I click back to visit them, et voila! Yesterday I found another fabulous blog called "Everyday People". My goodness, Susan can write! Where have these folks been hiding? So if you happen to be looking for a new blogging experience, please check out Katy and Susan's blogs. Peppermint Patty and I have so many more wonderful blogs to suggest, but at the moment we will leave that for another day.

And congratulations to Katy for winning the much sought-after almost-mascot, Mukmuk.

Cheers,

On What Occasion Do You Lie...?

How often do you lie? Tell the truth now, how often to you occasionally tell a little white fib? I watched a movie the other night with Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Garner called "The Invention of Lying". It took place in a world where lying and deception were completely unknown. Everyone told the truth, and everyone else believed them. A fellow was driving while drunk -- absolutely inebriated -- and he was pulled over by an unruly police officer. His friend in the car with him, Mark, (Ricky Gervais) stepped outside the car and said,

"Officer, this man is not drunk."

"He isn't? Oh, goodness, sir, my apologies. I thought you were drunk..."

The police officer believed Mark because lying was unheard of -- ever. Mark had invented lying. (And yes, when they got back into the car, Mark drove.)

Can you imagine what a dull world it would be without lying? There would be no fiction, no art, everything would be what you see is what you get. In Mark's world, he was a screen writer, but there were no movies, only incredibly boring lectures of the truth.

We have all told fibs on occasion, sometimes to save our own skin, and sometimes to save other folks. I have always believed that lying is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if it is used to protect someone else's feelings. We cannot always admit to someone that their new dress makes them look fat, or that the watery, gristly beef stew they cooked is horrible.

"Yum, this is delicious."

What purpose does it serve to be brutally honest in instances like that? Do you think God would be mad at us if we have actually spared someone else pain? I don't think so. That is a whole different type of duplicity than the type used for our own gain -- monetary or otherwise.

In "The Invention of Lying", Mark invented lying as a tool for kindness, and it worked. He made people feel incredibly happy, just by telling them "little white fibs". I think all of us have done that at some point in our lives, and when it works, it actually makes us feel good too. We have eased someone else's life in just the smallest way. Truth can often be unnecessarily brutal.

On what occasion do you lie fib?

(The winner of the almost-mascot from my previous post will be announced Saturday morning...)

What On Earth Are These?

Vancouver is starting to feel and look like a city that is hosting the Winter Olympics. You know -- the usual -- there are all sorts of traffic closures, construction sites are being cleaned up, buildings have new facades. Art work is springing up in all the plazas. I think it's actually going to be a lot of fun, and I am looking forward to the festivities. I took a few pictures today of some sculptures at the corner of Georgia and Granville. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to try to figure out what they are. But your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea what they are.







Just to make it fun, the person who comes up with the best suggestions as to what these things are, will win a priceless, one of a kind, almost-mascot called Mukmuk. He's not actually a mascot, but he's a sidekick to the mascots. How sad is that? Apparently he enjoys surprising his friends by popping in on occasion. He's a rare Vancouver Island marmot (Marmota vancouverensis), his name comes from from the Squamish word for food — muckamuck — because he loves to eat, and he's related to the rare whistling marmots on Whistler Mountain. I'm not making this up. Do you think I would make this up? Anyway, the decision will be made by the astute panel of judge, my next-door-neighbor, Beth. The winning entry will be chosen on Friday. Why am I giving away this rare, coveted prize you ask? Well, because I happen to have one, and I don't want it. It's actually kind of cute, but I really don't blame you if you don't want it either...

Cheers,

The Reunion

A group of 40 year-old buddies get together and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Löwen restaurant because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.

Ten years later, at 50 years of age the group meets again, and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Löwen because the food and the wine selection there is very good.

Ten years later at 60 years of age the group meets again, and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Löwen because they can eat there in peace and quiet, and the restaurant is smoke-free.

Ten years later, at 70 years of age the group meets again, and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Löwen because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible and they have an elevator.

Ten years later, at 80 years of age the group meets again, and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gasthof zum Löwen because they have never been there before.

Unable To Process Comments...?

It was so much fun reading all your responses to my recent post, "What are you wearing?" You know, it gives me a much better picture, and I can visualize all of you as people, rather than just avatars. You actually have bodies (clothed ones) below your necks, and comfy clothes. And it gives me a idea of where you are when you blog. It's wonderful to get a better idea of my blog friends! You're real people -- just like me...! And, there are several new and fabulous blogs that have come into the blogosphere recently. Last night I tried to visit many of them and post comments, however, I was unable to post comments on most of the blogs that have their comments boxes set up as "embedded below post". I think you folks may be losing a lot of comments. What happens is, people post their comments, and then the page flips to the top of the post. If the commenters do happen to scoll back down, they will see their comments did not post, and they might get a prompt that says,

"Your request could not be processed. Please try again."

However, if the commenters have flipped to the top of the page and do not scroll back down to see that their comments did not publish, they will leave your blog not knowing you did not receive their comments.

The solution to this problem is very easy. Instead of having your comments box set up in the format that is called "embedded below post", like this:

You can change it to the setup which is called "full page", like this.


If you want to change your comment settings, go into the dashboard, into "Settings" "Comments" and next to "Comment Form Placement" change it to "Full Page". You will find you will receive many more comments than you are receiving now.


Unless you have a really controversial blog -- which most of us don't -- it's always a good idea to make it as easy as possible for your readers to post comments. "Word verification" and "comment approval" -- unless absolutely necessary -- are not usually a good idea. It's like having a welcome mat at your front door that says, "Thank you for visiting, now please go away..." None of us wants that.

I hope to be able to visit you all, as soon as I am able to post comments.

Cheers,

What Are You Wearing?

Tonight when I came home from work, I walked around to all my windows closing the blinds, and I happened to glance across the courtyard at the man in the next building. His blinds were wide open, he was sitting at his computer, and he was nekkid. I have seen him sitting at his computer many times before, but I have never seen him without his clothes on. It was a frightening experience, to say the least. I felt a bit like James Stewart in "Rear Window". I wonder if people have any idea that we can see right in to the very privacy of their lives, when their blinds are open and their lights are on. It's one intrusion I don't wish to make. Most people actually do look better with their clothes on, truth be told.

It occurred to me then, that most of us sit in front of our computers, reading blogs, e-mailing our friends, reading CNN and other websites, perhaps working on a project for work, and we are definitely wearing something that is -- shall we say -- comfortable. We can have close communication with dozens of people, and no one can see us. Thank goodness. So I am curious, as you sit there now reading my boring-little blog, what are you wearing? Enquiring minds what to know. Are you comfortable? Are you nekkid? Oh, that sounds sort of kinky, doesn't it? But really, what are you wearing? Do you remember the "come-as-you-are" parties, where people would telephone you with an invitation late at night, or early in the morning, and you had to attend the party just exactly as you were when you received the invitation? If anyone were to phone me right now and invite me to a "come-as-you-are" party, they would be in for a h*ll of a shock.

"What are those things you have on your feet? And what have you done to your hair? And what is that you're wearing?"

What are you wearing? Enquiring minds want to know.

Cheers,