Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Sensitive Man

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. Once they get back to his place, he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall. It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine man to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking,

"Oh my gosh ... maybe, this guy could be the one... Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense night of raw passion with this sensitive man, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,

"Well, how was it?"

The man gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says,

"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

32 comments:

Land of shimp said...

"....and the homicide detectives were mystified. A teddy bear as a murder weapon was one thing, but this man had clearly been savaged with them. "

Hehehe, cute story, Jo. Hey, I'm not sure you'll see this because it was an older post, but I left the latest "tale of Canadian health care" in your most recent post about Laverne. I think it will make you laugh.

And possibly assault someone with a teddy bear.

Jo said...

Alane, *heh* murder by Teddy Bear.

Yes, I just saw your comment on my Canadian Health Care post. I have posted a response. Oh, goodness... :-) It made me chuckle.

Alissa said...

What fun! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I needed a good belly laugh, thanks!

Owen said...

Jo ! Very naughty !
;-D

And I agree with Shimp, I'll bet he ended up with a teddy bear stuffed way down his throat !

Cedar said...

now that...was unbearable...and she only got the middle row?? Not even the top row...dang.

Judi said...

LOL! Good one, Jo.

Country Girl said...

OH. MY. GOSH.
Of course, I would have made some excuse and left if I had seen all those bears. Guys with that many bears, well . . . oy.

Jennifer D said...

Yeah I'm with country girl- The bears would have sent me running.

Very funny story Jo.
Ha Ha- Death by Teddy! :O)

jojo said...

I soooo thought that was going to end differently...glad it didn't!

Cloudia said...

LOL!

My (now) husband brought me teddy bears on our first date.

"How calculated," I thought.
But he really is that sweet (23 years later :)





Aloha, Friend!


Comfort Spiral

Marguerite said...

Ain't that just like a man! What a jerk! I hope she stuffed it down his throat! Now, you've got me all worked up, Jo! I think I would have run for the hills, after seeing all the teddy bears. A bit weird, for sure!

John said...

That was hilarious!

ivan said...

Cry from the shelf:

"Somebody's eating my porridge."

Nancy said...

LOL!! You made my day, Jo!

Firefly said...

Ha ha ha ha ha... snort. *wiping tears out of eyes*

KathyB. said...

Aha! Miss Marple has a solution, you should see what she does to Teddy Bears......funny Jo.

SparkleFarkle said...

Insanely funny! Makes me wonder about those two young women I boarded with in my early twenties. For crying out loud, they had quite THE stock pile of stuffed animals-- for their age. Now I think I know why! LOL!

the walking man said...

better than notching the bed post.

DUTA said...

Jo, you're very good at describing love scenes. I like the making-love paragraph.

kenju said...

I would have murdered him right there in his bed!

corabela said...

Oh man. That was just wrong, wrong, wrong. But funny. : D

And I'm with DUTA. Maybe you should write romance novels on the side.

Charles Gramlich said...

Lol. that is really really good. One of the best twist jokes I've heard in a long, long time.

all that i am said...

good loving and a prize?!?

Russell said...

The man ....says "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

To which she responds, "Yea, that's about right. One of those smaller bears, yes, yes, that's about right."

As she gets out of bed, she looks back at the man and says "In fact, other men I have been with have had much, much bigger .... prizes!"

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh Jo! I'm ruining my makeup crying and laughing over here...lol. Too funny. And I love Land of Shimp's alternate ending to this love story.

Amy said...

I agree with Alane as well - as I was reading your funny story I was wondering if you had a wall of teddy bears that you photographed - if you indeed do, there's some potential weapons if you should need one!

ivan said...

Russell,

Ah it's all a fallacy.

robert said...

Maybe a proof that teddy bears are better humans.
One nearly feels obligated to ask for an apology towards this woman.
A wonderful Wednesday for you.

Jo said...

Hello, my wonderful bloggy friends. Didn't you just love this story? I laugh every time I read it.

Thank you for all your wonderful comments.

Cheers!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I think I once knew that guy.

A human kind of human said...

This is so funny. I will keep the re-telling of this one for just the right time.