Odilon Redon, 1914
Today I did something I have not done for several months. Should I have done it? Well ... yes, but I wish I hadn't. Will I do it again? Now that I have done it once, unfortunately I am now committed to it and I will have to do it every day. Was it a wise decision? Probably one of the wisest I have ever made. I have been living in denial for too long now, and it's time to face my demons. Denial is an emotion we all use as a coping strategy. Denial and pretense. And avoidance. That's my particular favourite. Even if I know something to be true, and I cannot pretend any longer, I can still fall back on avoidance. Oh, I'm the queen of avoidance. We can get a lot of mileage out of avoidance, can't we? "I'll do it tomorrow." Usually those three coping strategies ~~ denial, pretense and avoidance ~~ follow each other in stages. "Me? No...!" Deny, deny, deny. Well, perhaps me, yes, but I will just pretend ... "No". But that little voice keeps whispering, and we go into avoidance mode, until we can no longer avoid the situation, and we have to admit, "Yes. Me ... Houston, we have a problem."
So, today, Saturday, January 28, 2012, I did something I have not done for several months.
I stepped on the bathroom scale.
Why did I pick today to do it? Oh, I don't know. I suppose today was as good as any day. The day of reckoning dawned, and I just decided to do it. Am I glad I did it? Yes. Was I shocked? Well ... yes and no. All through my denial, pretense and avoidance phases, that little voice in the back of my head kept whispering ... whispering. So, I really could not deny, pretend or avoid any longer.
The next step is action. Goodbye denial, pretense and avoidance. Hello action. We all know what it is we're doing wrong, and we all know what to do right. There are mountains of information available to us at our fingertips, and the weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. It becomes confusing after a while, but in simple terms, in order to lose weight we require a 1,200 calorie diet that would consist of no more than 660 calories from carbohydrates, 180 from protein, and 360 from fat. This is the premise of all weight loss diets such as Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig.
And no more Purdy's dark chocolate-covered marzipan. Or butter chicken. Or peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. At least for a while.
Oh, don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a weight-loss blog, but I will let you know how I'm doing. Wish me luck.