Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Elin, Toss Him Back...

Do you ever get the feeling the whole world has gone insane, and you are the only sane one? Or, perhaps it's the other way around. You're completely barmy, and everyone else is normal? Lately, every time I turn on the TV, no matter what news channel I'm watching, the headline news story seems to be about Tiger Woods and his indiscretions -- over and over -- ad nauseum. The analysis seems to be the same - can his career recover? Will his endorsements come back? Can the marriage be saved? Well, I think his career will eventually recover, even though his reputation will never be the same, and the Tiger Woods jokes and cartoons will continue for years. He will be the poster boy for stupidity. As far as the marriage being saved, why on earth would any wife want to "save" that marriage?

Tiger broke a sacred and physical trust. In my opinion, a marriage is based on love and intimacy. The act of making love between two people who love each other is the sharing of that intimacy. In essence, their physical bodies belong to each other and to no one else. Is there any woman out there who loves her husband, who would be anything less than repulsed by the fact that he is (please excuse the crudeness here) dipping his quill in someone else's inkwell? Would she really want it back afterwards? The most intimate part of his body has been intimate with someone else's body. And to find out that he has done it with at least 14 other women would be devastating.

I have always wondered about women who can turn a blind eye to their husband's continuous indiscretions. It was said that Jackie Kennedy knew about JFK's ongoing dalliances, but she ignored it. How can a woman ignore something like that? I don't understand it. Does she have ice water in her veins? That magical silver thread of love and trust and loyalty would be forever broken.

A friend of mine once told me that, on the night she got married, her husband told her he fully intended to continue having relationships with other women. Can you even imagine? My friend stayed with him for 10 long, unhappy years. She is now happily married to a man who cherishes her.

Elin Woods is probably going through the most unimaginable humiliation and grief, and I wish the media would leave this story alone. Today the Associated Press named Tiger Woods the athlete of the decade, and as a golfer, he probably deserves it. As a husband, I think he needs to be thrown back into the ocean.


SparkleFarkle said...

I just hope Woods doesn't claim "sex addict" as his coverall. I am so tired of that convenient excuse. But more tired of hearing about Tiger Woods. His poor wife and children. My heart aches for them. Can you imagine? The greatest golfer/athelete ever will go down in history as just another guy who thought it was wise to think with his penis. Pathetic.

The Bug said...

I'm pretty disgusted myself. Are there no men out there with any fidelity left? My husband is one (lord help him if he's pulling the wool over my eyes LOL - although I'm 110% sure of him).

Jackie Kennedy I could sort of understand because I think of that type of marriage as a merger, not really a love match (although I don't really know in that case). But my "business partner" had better not expect me to do any writing with him again!

Land of shimp said...

The man plays golf. Don't get me wrong, he plays it very well and all, but he plays golf. It's absolutely bizarre that he's become a figure of national interest, a constant news item and the focus of a lot of scrutiny. Watching golf on TV is perhaps the most boring thing I can imagine, and heck, I like a lot of stuff other people deem indescribably boring.

The interest isn't in Tiger Woods, most of the people I know do play golf, but most don't watch it, the interest is in an emotional trainwreck.

I can't believe how much press this has gotten. He's a houndog. I may have a genuine problem, and if so, get some help. He may just be an arrogant turd who has been treated as if he is some paragon of achievement since he was a child. Maybe he fell for his own press, maybe he is sincerely not a well man. All I know is that his problems are his, aren't mine, and are far beyond the things that will actually impact my life.

I hope his wife makes a break for it, but if she stays? Okay. Not my call. Not my life. Not my marriage. Sexual fidelity is a complex issue, and mostly it is tied into emotional safety. I've known people who had open marriages and for some it worked out, for others not so much.

I do think it is within the realm of reason for any one, or two people to choose together to have an open marriage. It doesn't seem that Elin Woods chose that. He cheated on her, prolifically.

Will his career recover? I don't give a flying fig. In this same week where I've been unable to turn on a TV news program, or log onto the internet without seeing some darned story about what Tiger Woods has seen fit to do with his bits and parts there have been a lot of things happening in my country that are of national freaking importance.

The public option just circled the drain once more. Joe Lieberman threatened, again, some more, to filibuster and subverted the will of the majority of people in our country. Three of heads of the largest banks essentially blew off a meeting with the President of the United States, claiming they couldn't get from NYC to D.C. because of fog, in a giant bird flipping to the country that bailed them out. There has not been significant banking reform of any kind, and that means that the near global collapse last year can happen again.

These are very, very important things.

Not important? Freaking Tiger Woods and the workings of his penis or marriage.

I'm not ranting at you, Jo. I fully agree, there's no way to escape the state of the Woods marriage, it's being shoved down our throats.

I hope Elin leaves the guy and takes a metric crapton of his money with her for her trouble but Tiger Woods disgusting behavior is part and parcel of what is just flat out wrong with our global society: We make important stupid crap, and allow the media to get away with focusing on it rather than talking about things that could take us all down.

Tiger Woods plays golf. If that has a direct impact on the security of anyone's life but his own, I'm assuming that person is a caddy because...damn.

Land of shimp said...

He may have a genuine problem. He. That wasn't a Freudian slip when I used "I" instead, by the way. It was a typo. This situation makes me very upset. Really important things happened this week...not just in the U.S.

I really shouldn't know as much about how Tiger Woods wields his manhood as I do.

Put it in your pants, dude. It's a fairly simple solution.

Kitty Moore said...

I couldn't agree more. I would never stay with a man who has betrayed my trust in that way.

Jennifer D said...

Your right Jo, I would toss him back.

A.M. said...

I think it's possible for a wife to forgive her cheating husband if there was no relationship involved, BUT repeatedly, COME ON Tiger!!! It's going to take an act of God for Elin to forgive him now. Geesh. Tiger needs to get his act together and fast.

leilani said...

I think its safe to say that the imbalance in Tigers childhood, has caused a great imbalance in his adult life. TOOOO much of one thing i feel has made Tiger great at golf but lacking as an honest man.. I quess people feel ALL that MONEY is worth walking around half cocked(pun intended). The sad story here is his two children NOW could suffer an imbalance of having one full time parent at a time. Do we as adult humans ever truly understand our responsibility to the children we create?

Carol E. said...

Amen! So much for her being his "best friend." She deserves better.

Alissa said...

I really don't understand the obsession with Tiger Woods. I mean, when the first story first broke I can see how it was news, but surely there must be something more newsworthy going on in the world.

I will say that my golfing father, who in changing his cable subscription made sure to pay extra so he could get the golf channel (yes a whole channel devoted to golf) is a huge Tiger Woods fan, and although he is still a fan his opinion of him has changed.

PurestGreen said...

I know a lot of these sportsmen have women throwing themselves at them all the time, but if the man knows he will not be able to be faithful, why get married? If you want to sleep around, then stay single and sleep around.

I am also waiting for the "sex addiction" claim to surface.

No doubt this will never, ever leave him. Michael Jackson was one of the best performers of all time, but what many people remember is "wacko jacko." Will it be the same with Tiger Woods? Likely.

Cloudia said...

And yet we cannot look away....

Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

Carl said...

I agree with you. Marraige is sacred and should be treated that way.


Katy said...

I wish the media would drop this story. I really do. And I want to say and special shame on all the "news" programs who say, "we don't care about his personal life... its just business."

I hope they can both grow from this. I hope they both find peace.

CTVicky said...

So disappointing. So many children look up to him. He seemed to be a perfect role model. It's so disgusting what he's done. 14 women, prostitutes. Revolting. What I feel about people that do that is profane.

I agree, marriage and physical love are sacred and if any man did that to me I would kick him out and never take him back.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Sick of the whole mess.... he is right up there with the John and Kate. Shouldn't matter enough to be newsworthy.

JeannetteLS said...

I think that two people can lose track of one another to the point that infidelity can happen--but that is not what we're writing about. And I just find the whole story so revolting and disheartening. I know only enough to know that Tiger's been bumping everything that moves. So I'd say that it doesn't resemble anything I would want to call marriage. But, am I horrible? I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE about celebrities and their marriages and affairs. I have enough trouble understanding my own pathetic heart, without dabbling into celebrities' inkwells. LOVE that image. To me it's just another instance of this country's Victorianism--hypocrisy at its finest. We judge. We watch. We salivate. We all know folks who double dip. And sometimes we have been known to forgive spouses who have strayed or BEEN them, and looked at it as a symptom of something else. We claim a rigid morality but seem to love to watch the famous ones mess up. I hope she walks away and finds something fine in her life--NOT him. HE will be just fine.He's a rock star in the sports world--he womanizes. Like he won't be forgiven? Please. FEH

Hilary said...

I have no tolerance for cheating. He's worth more to her now than when she might have thought he was true to her. Imagine the alimony she's due out of these indiscretions.

susie said...

You're right. She should toss him back. And the media should find something more important to report.
Who cares what he does, or what any celebrity does, for that matter.

I bet if they didn't get so much attention for their bad behavior, they might just not behave so badly.

C Hummel Kornell a/k/a C Hummel Wilson said...

This all goes to show how little of the really important news is being covered by the press today. Not sure when the Tigers, Michaels and Jolies of the world became more important than the real news, but since people seem to be so hung up on the trashy, voyeuristic idol worship of the famous and not so famous 'stars' the reports will keep coming. It's tiring and I wish they would stop it. As for Elin, she should dump him. He's not worth giving a second chance.

Once again you hit a nerve. Thanks for your posts.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I agree. I have never been a "stand by your man" kind of woman when the man has committed such egregious sins against his wife, and against marriage. Marriage (not the "open" kind) is not for everybody, but those who choose to enter into it should fully accept the terms of exclusivity it requires.

Jackie Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, and all the other politicians' wives who stand next to their disgraced husbands are a special breed. I can't judge them because I don't understand them. Now Elin wielding that golf club through his SUV window, that I understand.

As several others have pointed out here, we have real and serious issues going on that deserve and need our attention. Yet another athletic hero with um, feet? of clay should rank very low on the scale, not quite as low as OJ Simpson but very low indeed.

DUTA said...

Why on earth did she marry him in the first place? Wasn't it obvious to her he was a womanizer?

Pauline said...

When we are frightened beyond measure (and we are - over health care, bank failure, recession, hunger, foreclosures, North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, climate change, abortion rights, gay/lesbian rights, the second coming...), to watch the "mighty" fall is a neat distraction. It keeps our minds occupied while the rest of the rug is pulled out from under us.

the walking man said...

The best thing of all is that as they grow up his children will have the internet and every post and article, every pun and joke available to them so they will have ever more reasons to despise the man who fathered them.

Jo said...

Sparkle, oh goodness, yes. That will be the next thing on the agenda, won't it? *sigh*

The Bug, yes, I think certain political marriages are just that -- politics. I think we can name a few of those.

Alane, I could not agree with you more...! There are important things going on in the world, and all the media is talking about is some golfer? A golfer...! It's un-fr*ggin believable, isn't it? I heard today that Elin is leaving him. Good for her.

Kitty, good for you! I hope more women think that way.

Jennifer, I think Elin did toss him back. *heh*

A.M., I think in time Elin may forgive him, but I think her love and trust is gone, gone, gone.

Leilani, I read today that Tiger used to get very upset about his own father's infidelities, and now he is doing that to his own children!

Carol, amen...! She's a lovely young woman, she will find better.

Alissa, I don't understand the obsession with Tiger, either. Since when did golf become a "cool" sport???

PurestGreen, oh, yes!!! Michael Jackson's name will forever be synonymous with pedophelia, whether he was guilty or not. And yet he was a fabulous musician.

Cloudia, oh, gosh, yes...!

Carl, it's nice to hear a man's opinion about this. Marriage is sacred.

Katy, sadly, I think it will be a long time before they can find any peace. It's very sad.

CTVicky, oh goodness, yes. The relationship would never be the same again, would it -- emotionally or physically.

Kathy, you're so right...! Meanwhile, newsworthy things go unnoticed!

Jeanette, oh, yes the hypocrasy! People are saying "Can this marriage be saved?" What marriage? After 14 women and counting -- that marriage ended a long time ago. It's too sad.

Hilary, oh, goodness yes. He will lose his endorsements and income, and his wife and children will get a huge settlement. Was it worth it? What a silly man...!

Susie, or on the other hand, all the media attention might make other people stop. I wonder how many men "ditched" their mistresses this week?

Connie, you are so right. There are so many newsworthy items -- and people -- and the media gets hung up on the trasy stuff.

Susan, I have never understood why the media worships athletes. When they fall from grace, a hugh deal is made of it. There are so many more important news items...!

Duta, you are so right! I think it must have been fairly obvious at that point...!

Pauline, yes, it seems we need things to distract us, and we are definitely into the silly season as far as distractions are concerned.

Mark, I know... All those poor little kids, the Woods kids, the Gosseling kids... oh goodness!

Brenda said...

I had just watched a show on the History Channel not long before this story broke about all the infidelity that has taken place with Presidents and men with political power. These stories go way back. Seems some men have a Geiger counter that finds those willing ink wells. I heard JFK said that if he didn't have a different woman every so many days he got a headache. I don't believe everything I hear or read though, so who knows what the real truth is in all of these things. The media seems to distort everything they get their hands on.

Mary Ellen said...

I agree with you, this whole Tiger Woods thing is getting on my nerves. Like you, I believe that he threw away his marriage vows and I don't blame his wife one bit for walking away from him. He may find out that his career is a minor loss compared to the loss of his wife and the respect he will lose from his child when he finds out about his father's discretions.

I'm beginning to wonder if marriage means anything these days. It's no wonder why there are so many divorces, when marriage is treated as temporary...until one of the partners gets bored and moves on.

I'm sure there will be some bimbo who will be willing to marry Tiger someday, but I'm not sure why she would think that his fidelity would be any more true to her than his first wife.