Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Time Just Before...

For everything that happens, there is a time just before -- a time when that thing that is about to happen has not happened yet. The earth is still rotating on its axis and all is well with the world. Everything is just as it should be, and the daily routine feels the same as it always has.  Nothing is out of place.  You feel the same je ne sais quoi that you feel every day.  Everything is predictable, and you don't mind. And then, suddenly, the hands on the clock tick forward, and It has happened.  There is no turning back; nothing can undo it.  Life has changed.  Forever.  And you wish you could go back to the time just before...

One of my co-workers -- I will call her Sarah -- is one of my favourite people in the world. She's wonderful, and she makes my life so much easier. We communicate mostly by telephone and e-mail, and we agree every day on what a great team we are. Speaking with her always brightens my day. There is a certain aspect of my job that has been extremely difficult because of the incompetency of the folks in a department with which I have had to deal over the past several years. When Sarah came along, the Heavens opened, and the angels sang.  At the end of the week, she never fails to leave the office without first sending me an e-mail to wish me a great weekend.  However, for the past couple of weeks she has not been at work, and once again everything went to hell in a hand basket. "When is she coming back? When is she coming back?"  No one seemed to know, and it was very strange.  And then, a couple of days ago I found out that Sarah is very ill and will not be coming back.

Time and life are so fragile, both are a gift, and we take them both for granted until the day when everything changes, and we realize we have not appreciated them as we should.  And we take the people in our lives for granted as well.  They're just always there.  We count on certain people to be there because they enrich our lives and we don't know what we would do without them.  Until they're gone.  Sarah definitely enriched my life, and my exchanges with her throughout the day always made me smile.  She was someone on whom I could always count to be there.  I wish I could turn the hands of the clock back to the time just before, when everything was okay with the world, and It hadn't happened yet.  But I can't.

And if Sarah loses her battle -- God forbid -- I know the Heavens will open and the angels will sing.

16 comments:

Linda Myers said...

Blessings on Sarah.

Sextant said...

Very sorry to hear about your friend. I have felt that same notion, that at one moment all is well and it seems to hang suspended in your mind as some perfect state--desired forever. Alas the clock ticks and reality hardens into something else, unexpected, ill-defined, and unwanted. Very sad albeit lovely post Jo.

I love the image with the train tracks and the clock...something about it speaks to my Soul.

SHUBHAJIT said...

Beautiful.

In a simplistic way, you describe a profound thing.

I had a conversation with a boy who use to sell cigarettes etc. near our office. It's sultry summer in our part of the globe, so I asked him humorously to minimize the temperature. He said rather philosophically that everything was happening for good. It was our standpoint from where we saw things good and bad. So, this unbearable summer was also happening because of some good but we felt bad.

Earth is rotating, planets move, universe is expanding, everything is happening in it's own accord. Everything is predictable, it is us who don't know the predictability. When something happens, we get disturbed because we're already attached. Attachment is not love, attachment is a pain, an inscrutable pain that is working in spite of ourselves. We sprinkle emotions, sentiments etc. and glorify the thing with the name of love. Suppose, if we have a faith and believe there is the highest consciousness, which is greater than our collective consciousness of all things in this universe, then how can that highest consciousness let things happen what we feel is a bad thing after all.

You've written that Sarah brought happiness, some light in your life. It is your smile that counts to you. Whom I love always brings smile on my face. At the end it is my well being, its my smile that counts because I'm attached to my love. If I love, I see thing 'as it is', I accept things, I accept the fact that I don't have control over things, even if it is a free will. Though it is my body, my brain, my chemical reactions in my occipital lobe, still I can't control over it. because I don't know how to see things. My trivial knowledge makes me understand that the love is to accept things/people 'as it is'. It's not a plastic flower but a real one with a natural fragrance and delicacy.

I pray for her. Be well.

DJan said...

I am so sorry to hear that Sarah is not well. I don't know her, but I do know you through your blog, and I read of your sorrow and your pain through this beautifully written piece. Life does indeed change in a momentary flash and I cannot go back. How many times I have wished that I could. Thank you for this post; I always read them but had to comment on this one.

PinkPanthress said...

"Sarah" can call herself lucky to have a colleague like you. Even thought you do not know her that well, you do care for what happens to her.
You are a kind & lovely person!

I am wishing for your friend to get better soon. And hope the illness will not be to hard on her.

cloudia charters said...

brilliant tribute to a true friend, Jo



Enjoy your weekend!
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >

Alicia said...

So sorry to hear about your friend Jo.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I'm so very sorry, Jo. Prayers for Sarah and hugs to you.

Paula Slade said...

I am sorry Jo to hear about your friend. Sending comforting thoughts to you and for Sarah.

Donna Eisele said...

What a great post Josie. "Time and life are so fragile and we take it for granted".

I wish for your coworker Sarah a recovery and happy return to work.

I find that if all is going well in life and we feel that things are finally going our way, the hand of fate comes down and smacks us, giving us something to work through again.....
I guess this makes us stronger.....

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

Such a beautiful, sad and inspiring post, Jo! We do so often take those around us for granted and then, all too often, they may be gone. I'm so sorry to hear about Sarah. Does she know and can she know how much she has enriched your life and how very much she has mattered to you?

fiftyodd said...

As Dr Kathy says - its so important to tell people what they mean to us before it's too late.

Judy (kenju) said...

I'm sorry, in advance, for your inevitable loss, but I will hope and pray that she is able to beat her illness.

Friends like that come along all too seldom.

rhoseann said...

Sorry to hear about sarah but knowing her in your blog - i think she's one of the amazing people live in this world. You are blessed to know a woman like her. I hope she get well.

Everything will happen in God's time. Let's pray for her immediate recovery. Thank you for sharing a wonderful story.

Carol E. said...

What a beautiful post! I'm so sorry to hear that Sarah is not well. I once had a co-worker who was a breath of fresh air. she turned a sour, gossipy place into a happy, welcoming one. It's amazing what one cheerful and competent person can do for a work place. I'm glad you had the opportunity to work with Sarah. May the future still be bright for you, no matter what happens. You had the lovely gift of Sarah. You were blessed.

JeannetteLS said...

This is so beautiful, Jo. A wonderful place to start catching up on your entries. Sitting here with tears slipping down my cheeks.

The message, the feelings of you that have created the story to drive it home. Thank you so much, Jo.