Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Two Marys

Three Sisters, A Study in June Sunlight
Edmund C. Tarbell
1890
Milwaukee Art Museum

I have two very close friends with the same name -- let's call them Mary -- and I refer to them as Mary 1 and Mary 2. They are both lovely people, and both are very different from each other as night is from day. I have known Mary 1 for over 20 years, and she and I are the sisters each of us never had. I have known Mary 2 for only a few years, but as soon as I met her, I felt as if I had known her forever. Mary 1 is passionate, hot-blooded, sometimes volatile, always kind-hearted. Mary 2 is more even-tempered, sweet, sometimes feisty but in a calm and even-tempered way. I wish I could be more like Mary 2, but unfortunately I am like Mary 1 -- exactly.

Sometimes we are born with certain personality traits, and others I believe we pick up from our surroundings as we are growing up -- nature versus nurture. I have managed to inherit the worst traits of my parents through both nature and nurture but perhaps -- somewhere along the way -- I have inherited some good characteristics too. Even-temperedness, however, is not one of them. Like Mary 1, I can sometimes be very passionate. Is this a bad thing? Yes. Can I change it? No. I do, however, try not to hurt people -- but sometimes I fail miserably. Hurting the people in my life is the last thing I ever want to do, and those are the times when I feel very sad, and I wish I could be more like Mary 2 -- even tempered and sweet.

"How do you do it, Mary 2?"


If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I know what I would change about myself -- well, besides my nose -- *heh*

It's a gorgeous day today here in Vancouver, and several of the neighborhoods have their streets blocked off for Car-Free Vancouver day, and there are block parties everywhere, so I think I'll go outdoors and see what trouble I can get into is going on. Have a great Sunday, everyone!

16 comments:

Essie said...

Is being passionate and hot tempered bad? Maybe we have been conditioned to think so as women.

Jo said...

MeanMama, well, it can sometimes have a negative impact, sadly.

Paula Slade said...

As long as no one gets hurt, being passionate about life and your involvement in it is a good thing! And, your nose looks just fine Jo! :)
As for myself, I'm pretty much satisfied with who I am, but I know I have changed, as we all do to some degree, over the years.

jackc50 said...

ah...i wouldn't worry about it. unless you are a stepford wife those qualities are not considered too bad in this day and age. have yourself a lovely day yourself you hot blooded orchid.......heehee. bye 4 now, jack c

Jo said...

Paula, thank you. My nose is pointed. *heh* And yes, I try not to hurt people, but it doesn't always work...

Jackc50, oh, goodness, yes, I can tend to be a bit hot-blooded. *sigh* Well, I am what I am... :-)

The Bug said...

My problem is that I express irritation all too easily - I don't censor myself very well. Gets me in trouble at work all the time - if I think you're an idiot, you know it! Sigh. I've tried to tone it down a level without much success.

Leslie: said...

Maybe the reason why you and Mary 2 get along so well is that opposites attract - in friendships as well as in love. She probably sees characteristics in you that she wishes she had,just as you see things in her you wish you had.

Judi said...

The older I get, the more satisfied I am with myself. I do need to work on being a better listener and less of a procrastinator!

Whitney Lee said...

There's really no personality trait that isn't problematic in excess. Passion is wonderful, it merely needs to be tempered. But the same can be said of kindness. How many people have you heard described as 'too nice?'
Embrace all the things that make you you. I'm striving to take my less desirable traits and make them work for me.

Jeannette StG said...

Beautiful painting by the way! What would I change? I'm afraid it's a little late for that:)(in a month i'm 6 decades).
To all have the same temperament would become so boring! So, I think my friends accept me whether I'm hot- or even-tempered!

Miss_Nobody said...

Your nose is great,mine looks like its been run over teh!MY best friend and I have the same name,and we are so much alike!!Oh,and if only I could throw off that lazy attitude..

Brenda said...

I envy people who are sweet, kind and even tempered, because I am not that way. I notice I am a different person though, depending on who I am with, if that makes sense.
You know I used to think I would change my nose also, or would like to. I ran into someone who did that, and I was so stunned. I kept looking at her and wondering where SHE went. I had known her since she was a child, and I just couldn't find her in her new face. Just changing your nose, changes so many things and expressions on your face. Or at least I think so.

Scoobyloves2004 said...

Hi Jo, we all have our little dislikes about ourselves, I know I do, but I think we could use those to our advantage. Strong hearted is not a bad thing. I wish more people would speak from their heart, for what they believe in, rather than not speak at all and leave their true feeling to rot inside of them. That could cause a really bad ulcer. If your not true to yourself, how can you be true to others?

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Physically I would change my body shape. I could do without the built-in inner tube surrounding my middle. I tend to be sarcastic in a mean way when I am angry. I think that it probably makes me look very ugly to those I lash out at. It is something I try really hard to control.....and it is not easy.

meggie said...

I really love that painting! My BF is probably Mary 2. I am Mary 1. How much I appreciated her lovely calm stability, when we were faced with adversity!

Nose_in_a_book said...

Passion is no bad thing if you're aware of it and can reign it in when needed. I wish I was more ambitious sometimes. I know I'm intelligent and capable of many things but I tend to let myself amble along through life. I'm happy, but very aware that I could be doing better/more things. But otherwise I'm fine with who I am.