Friday, October 30, 2009

Samantha The She-Devil Cat

It wouldn't be Halloween without my telling you the story of Samantha The Demon Cat, who still haunts me. She was not a cat. Oh, she looked like a cat, and people often mistook her for a cat, but she was not cat. She was a demon straight from the bowels of Hades. She was very, very wicked and she was a drug addict as well. I didn't own her, she owned me. She let me live with her, as long as I fed her, gave her all my attention -- 24/7 -- and gave her drugs. I was her pusher, I was her enabler, I was her co-dependent. Our relationship was dysfunctional and pathological, and she had complete control over my every waking moment.

Oh, yes, Samantha the She-Devil Cat.

Samantha was very possessive of me. She insisted on being close to me at all times. If I went from one room to another, she would follow me. If I sat down, she would sit next to me. When I went to bed, she climbed in with me. Often when I fell asleep, she would howl like a banshee to wake me up. One night, in sheer exhaustion, I put her into a closet, only to wake up an hour later to find her lying next to me. I put her back into the closet, and pulled my heavy beveled glass coffee table in front of the closet door. It wouldn't budge, and it held the closet door tightly shut. I woke up an hour later with Samantha next to me, sound asleep, the coffee table pushed out of the way and the closet door wide open. The Hounds of The Baskervilles had nothing on Samantha. She would have made mincemeat of them.

She was jealous of anyone who came near me, and several of my family and friends still bear the scars to prove it. If I spoke on the phone with anyone, Samantha would pace back and forth bellowing, "Oh, yah, oh yah, oh yah, OH YAH..." People would ask me, "What the h*ll is that!?"

Funny you should ask...

I loved Samantha, though. She was not like any creature I had ever known. There are nights when I'm lying in bed and I can still feel her cold nose on my foot, and hear her rustling at the end of my bed. If any living creature would have found a way to come back, it would have been Samantha.


Miss_Nobody said...

Samantha reincarnated and now she is my dog.REALLY.My friends and family bear the scars to prove it lol

Kathryn said...

Oh, Jo! Read this to my hubby & we laughed like hyenas. Thanks for sharing! :)

A human kind of human said...

My cat, Massey, had so many of Samantha's characteristics, only differences are that he was very gentle and nobody bears scars from him, and he never screamed, or ever meowed as he was mostly African Wild Cat and simply did not meow. He went missing on Saturday, last week, and has not returned. If you are interested, you can read about him in my posts "A Cat in a Bag" and "Masey".
Enjoy your Halloween.

John said...

Thanks for sharing that about Samantha. I love my cats, and guess I am lucky that none behave like that. I keep my bedroom door shut to keep the cats out and every once in awhile I will open it only to find a cat standing at the door wanting out. I suppose they are very fast at running in LOL! I hope anyway.

Reading this made me smile from the get go and I laughed so hard in places that I also got the hiccups, gee thanks!

One last thing, I saw a movie once called "Ghost Cat." It was a Disney I think. You and the munchkins might enjoy it! All cat lovers would love that movie.

Russell said...

If I recall correctly, Samantha Stevens was the character that Elizabeth Montgomery played on the TV show Bewitched.


kenju said...

I had a cat like that; his name was Stormy and he made my life hell for 4 years. And you know what? I loved him anyway.

Barry said...

Now that really is scary. But of course cats are magical creatures.

I guess that's why we have a dog.

Have a happy Halloweeen!

Judi said...

Sounds like your average cat to me:) Come visit us at Weekend Cat Blogging.

The Bug said...

I'm afraid of cats (not really), but I know they are very disdainful of me, will never listen, & will do exactly what they want to do - which might be walking on my kitchen table to sniff at my dinner. Cat cooties!

Land of shimp said...

Oh heavens, Jo, that made me smile. For all the cultural talk of "Cats: Will disdain you for food." I've known so many people who lived with a cat who did not behave in a cat-like manner. We have one right now, and I don't think it is any coincidence that he absolutely has some Siamese in him. He has the voice, he has the kinked tail.

He has the demonic entity that seems to accompany the Siamese cat, just as Sam did. What he does not have is a name, and he's eleven-years-old. We don't lack for imagination in this house, but that cat has a teflon coating when it comes to names.

Like Sam, he will howl in outrage in the wee small hours if we are not paying adequate attention to him. We have to lock him out of the bedroom just to sleep, and lie listening to the destruction he reigns down upon the rest of the house in protest.

Just saying, as evidenced here? Sam is alive and well...and has apparently multiplied in various incarnations of that blasted, annoying, demanding, LOUD, and still lovable beast.

In Colorado, the splinter of her spirit is Gray. Dark Gray. Or as we sometimes say, "Clearly, a Roswell Gray."

Charles Gramlich said...

I believe every word of it. Did you ever see her sprout wings?

Owen said...

What an amazing cat she must have been... and given that she must have at least the minimum mandatory nine cat lives, she will surely be back, right...

If you have a second, do stop by to say "Hi" to all the kitties that just came to visit at my place... they are running amok... coming out of the woodwork, no doubt inspired by Samantha...

ivan said...

Having spent time in the jigsaw puzzle assembly plant, I can just imagine Semantha for company. She must have been stone catatonic.

Anonymous said...

As cats are poetry, one can't avoid them - ever.

Shaista said...

The question is, would you want her back?? Imagine nine lives with her :)
Have you got pumpkins on your porch? Rosemary and garlic hanging on your front door etc etc? Americans celebrate halloween with such passion - the English don't. (We didn't even get trick or treated here..)

Wenderina said...

We had Sam's cousin. And he really freaked people out because he was also black, so that banshee screaming from a black cat? sent them running. We miss that nutball every day.

TheChicGeek said...

LOL, great post, Jo! I have a cat like that! Marvin the devil cat! He definitely owns me. I am his human and he is in control...LOL

Why do I love him so? Lord, help me!

Came to wish you a very Happy Halloween! It was a treat to have you visit me :) I always love to see Jo and her smiling face!

Hugs to You!
Happy Halloween (..) Booooo!

leilani said...

LOLOL! Jo i just loved this!

ArtPropelled said...

Love this post! Samantha sounds as charming as our Demon Siamese. They are a breed apart.
I've enjoyed browsing your blog, thanks Jo.

the walking man said...

Cat people are as weird as the "pets" they keep. Must have been the Ahhnold of cats to push open a door with a coffee table in front of it. And must have had the skeleton of a rat to get out of a door that was still latched.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm one of those very weird cat people. I adore my cats and they own me. Wouldn't have it any other way. But then, I'm way over the top about all animals. Thanks for satisfying my curiousity about your Siamese. She was a hell of a cat!

Belizegial said...

I do believe I spotted Samantha the other day at a friend's house. Only she is now a cuddly and very possessive/defensive white poodle!

Nancy said...

Great story, Jo! We had a cat who was part siamese named Coolwhip who had a similar personality. He was known to double up his little paw and punch your face if you were lying down and he wanted you up. I loved that cat! Every once in a while you can find a cat with tons of personality, and he was a perfect example.

Jo said...

♦ Miss Nobody, *heh* I believe it...!

♦ Kathryn, and it's a true story. :-)

♦ A Human, your cat went missing? Oh, you must be just heartsick. An African wild cat? Interesting. I'm going to read about him.

♦ John, "Ghost Cat"? Sounds fabulous! I'm going to check it out. I do think cats can make themselves invisible, like the Cheshire cat in "Alice in Wonderland". :-)

♦ Russell, hmmmm... I never thought of that. I'm sure my Samantha was a witch. :-)

♦ Kenju, oh yes. And it sounds as if he had an appropriate name too.

♦ Barry, I would love a dog. I have been thinking about getting one.

♦ Judi, *heh, heh* Yes, cats are something else, aren't they?

♦ The Bug, cats are disdainful of everyone. They don't give a darn!

♦ Alane, what a wonderful story. And he is definitely a Siamese. I think any cat that has even a teeny drop of Siamese in him with bear all the good (and bad!) traits of a Siamese cat, and you have to be a special person to have one. :-)

♦ Charles, no, but she did catch a lot of birds, sadly.

♦ Owen, your cat pictures are beautiful, and the cerulean blue in the photographs is exquisite!

♦ Ivan, LOL...!

♦ Robert, yes. So true! :-)

♦ Shaista, no, I wouldn't want her back, as much as I loved her. And yes, Halloween is a very big deal in Canada, with all the little trick or treaters.

♦ Wenderina, yes, sometimes if a cat has a smidgen of Siamese, they will have all the traits, and it is quite disconcerting! They're lots of fun, aren't they?

♦ Kelly, if cats had little fingers, we would be wrapped around them, wouldn't we? They do indeed let us live with them. :-)

♦ Leilani, yes, Samantha had a million stories like this. *heh* *sigh*

♦ ArtPropelled, hello, and welcome! Aren't Siamese cats a hoot? I think once you have owned a Siamese, you could never have a "regular" cat. :-)

♦ Mark, to this day, I have no idea how she did it. It freaked me right out...!

♦ Carla, *heh* yes, she was a Hell of a cat, and she knew it. Some of my friends were actually frightened of her. :-)

♦ Enid, oh, yes, if Samantha could be reincarnated, she would be. And trust her to come back as a dog. :-)

♦ Nancy, what a great story! Siamese cats have huge personalities, don't they? They really do rule the roost wherever they live.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I believe it. My wolf, Baby, visits me in dreams and I can actually feel her fur and hug her. I also sense the occasional presence of my Exmoor pony, Star, who was the best "man" in my life before I met Flip, and both Moonshine and Truffle, my two most long-lived cats, visit regularly and move significant objects to make sure I notice. (But never at the same time as both of them hated other cats.)

Samantha is surely with you, "dogging" your footsteps and protecting you. I'm still puzzling over her moving a heavy piece of furniture but have learned that with cats anything is possible, maybe because they have no notion that it isn't.

Alicia said...

What a cute story, a little scary, but cute!

Paula Slade said...

Great tale! The picture you posted looks like my Siamese, "Meatball." And, yes she is truly a meatball! :-D