Nurturing Our Souls...

Branches with Almond Blossom
Vincent van Gogh
1890

Tomorrow is the first day of spring, and I have decided to make a whole new paradigm shift in my life. I have decided to stop being around people who really don't like me. We all have them in our lives -- family members, co-workers -- people who barely tolerate us, and in that subliminal intolerance, they make us feel like pond scum.

Rapport is a strange, elusive thing that we either have with someone, or we don't.  Someone once wisely said, "We can't make people love us, but we can make them hate us..."  It's very true.  It's puzzling when someone doesn't like us.  We wonder why.  But there it is -- they don't like us.  Period.  It is depessing as h*ll to be  around people with whom our every word and every movement is questioned.  "Why did you do that?  Why did you say that?  What do you mean by that...?"  It can drain the lifeforce out of us.

In the alternative, when we are around people who like us -- who see who we are -- we feel good about ourselves.  I have friends like that.  They see me, they know me and they like me.  And I enjoy being around them.  It is a nourishing to our souls to be with people with whom we can be ourselves, unconditionally and without fear of judgement.  They know we have no hidden agendas, no covert strategies or plans, just "what you see is what you get."

My plan for this day forward is to spend my time with people who nurture my soul, and for whom I can return the favour.  Life is too short to spend any time with people who do not like me, starting tomorrow when I'm going to tell our department manager to put my job where the sun never shines that I am leaving there and taking some art courses, something I love to do.  Nurturing my soul begins with me.

Earthquakes And Hangovers...

Vancouver sits on the Ring of Fire, where there has been a lot of earthquake activity in the past few weeks -- first in New Zealand and now in Japan.  Something is going on in the earth's tectonic plates, a major paradigm shift, as it were.

We also have 100s of volcanoes in our mountain ranges, and Marigold has a perfect view of the volcano Mt. Baker from her bedroom window. Another of the volcanoes in this area is Mt. St. Helen's, which erupted at 8:32 a.m. on Sunday, May 18, 1980. I was at my mother's place in Victoria on Vancouver Island, and we could hear the explosion. The plume of ash rose 80,000 feet in the air and ash was deposited over 11 states in the United States, as well as over British Columbia.  This is a picture of Mt. St. Helen's the day before it erupted, and then two years later.

We often get small temblors (not tremblors) here in Vancouver.  I sometimes glance over and see my plants swaying, or I will hear a loud crack in the building.  These are quite common occurrences. These temblors register on seismographs, but most people will go about their business and not notice them. Earthquakes are measured on what is called the Richter scale. Major earthquakes usually measure between 6.0 and 9.5, which was the highest ever recorded. Each increase of one unit on the Richter scale represents a 32-fold increase in the intensity of the earthquake. An 8.5 earthquake is 32 times more intense than one that measures at 7.5, and a 9.5 is 32 times greater than an 8.5.  The earthquake in Alaska that caused the Pacific Tsunami which hit the town where I lived was 9.5, and the recent earthquake in Japan was 9.0.  Those are extremely powerful earthquakes.

On February 28, 2001 Seattle had an earthquake that registered 6.1, and we could feel it here in Vancouver.  I was in the photocopy room at work when the cabinets began swaying.  I went back to my desk, and my co-worker was sitting with her head between her hands.  She said to me, "Oh, Jo, I was out for dinner last night and I think I drank too much wine. I have such an awful hangover, it feels just like an earthquake..."

"Um ... Danika, it is an earthquake.  We have to evacuate the building..."

Vancouver is long-overdue for what they call "the big one" and I have an earthquake kit under my desk at work, just in case. But Japan was probably the most earthquake-prepared country in the world and it was no match for a 9.0 quake. Once those monsters hit, there's not much folks can do, except maybe put their head between their hands and pray.

Barbie and Ken ... After The Final Rose

Is there anyone else besides me who finds these people just ever so slightly cheesy? Am I missing something? What am I missing? Brad Womack is described as a heartbreaker. I suppose he is a nice fellow, moderately good-looking in a David Hasselhoff sort of way, but  a heart-breaker? He's an oil worker who got into bartending.  In his first go-round as "The Bachelor" in 2007, he did the "unthinkable" by not choosing either Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas.  They may have escaped with their lives.

I haven't followed the series because ... well, I would rather waste my time doing something else. But I did click onto the ending of the final show to see which woman he chose.  Barbie and Ken are alive...  Seriously, these people scare me.

What happens when the final roses wilt?

A Guardian Angel Always Near...

When I was a child, I was raised in the Anglican Church, and when I was married, I converted to Catholicism. The two religions are very similar, so it was not a difficult transition. Since then, I am what you might call a "lapsed" member of any formal, organized religion. I am, however, a spiritual person, and I do believe one can be spiritual without belonging to any particular relgion. I also believe in guardian angels. I think they are all around us, and they manifest themselves through our friends and acquaintances, our families, and even sometimes through strangers.  And I do believe that when it is our time to make the transition from this world to the next, our guardian angel is here to guide us.

Yesterday as I was walking home from work, I saw a man sleeping on a park bench.  He was sitting upright with his hands folded in his lap, his head back, his mouth open -- and it was pouring rain.  As I approached him, I could see instantly that he was more than asleep.  The paramedics were called, but there was nothing they could do for him.  I wondered how long he had been sitting there, with passersby glancing over, looking at the sleeping man.  Perhaps hours...  In repose, he looked very peaceful, and I hoped his guardian angel had been there with him.

Keep an eye out today for guardian angels.  They are all around us, and they help us in ways we cannot even imagine.  Perhaps they even work through us.

"These things I warmly wish for you: Someone to love, Some work to do, A bit o' sun, a bit o' cheer, And a guardian angel always near." ~~ Irish Blessing

How Will You Fill The Pages...?

Yesterday my friend Russell sent me a lovely journal from the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. Each week of the journal is accompanied by a painting by an impressionist painter, but the days of the week -- Monday to Sunday -- are blank. They are meant to be filled with notations, events, to-do lists, invitations and all the other things that go into making up the days of our lives. As I opened the journal yesterday and looked at the blank pages, I wondered what sort of entries I was going to fill into the pages.  And then it occurred to me, it's entirely up to me how I fill the pages. 

Cottage in the Dunes
Stanislas Henri Jean Gazin
(The week of March 7th to 13th)

Most of us go through our lives on autopilot. We go to work, we go home. We pay the bills, we buy groceries, we do all the necessary things we need to do in order to survive. The days, weeks, months, years pass this way. We call it taking care of business. Any of the joyful things we manage to do are usually extraneous, and usually -- only -- if we have enough money left over to do them. Hobbies, vacations, concerts, movies, parties, museums, a day at the water park, these are all special things we do -- luxuries, as it were. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could fill the pages of our journals with one of these things every day, or at least every week?

As I looked at the blank pages of my journal, I decided I didn't want to fill them with "went to work ... went home". One day I would like to look back at the pages of my journal and see that I actually had some fun -- at least occasionally. Maybe it won't be every day, but it would be reassuring to see that I was able to punctuate the boring, humdrum days with some fun and perhaps even some excitement.

How would you fill the blank pages of your journal?

International Women's Day ... Not

Today is International Women's Day, and the theme is "Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women". Well, I'm all for that -- definitely. That theme almost seems outdated in the 21st Century, because there are more women enrolled in universities than men, especially in the fields of medicine and law. Each country adopts its own theme for International Women's Day, and in Canada the theme today is, "Status of Women: Strong Leadership. Strong Women. Strong World: Equality". I have an idea for International Women's; why don't we start with "Women treating each other as equals, and with respect". This seems to be an area where women fall far short of the mark. In fact, women's behaviour towards each other never ceases to embarrass me.


Women have very specific tactics they use against each other, usually involving some sort of passive aggressiveness.  The silent treatment -- shunning -- seems to be a favourite, and it's almost instinctive.  Very little girls use this tactic against each other, and it works even better if they can rally the troops and have everyone give the victim the silent treatment.  Ostracism is a very powerful form of abuse, and women really know how to use it. It's the same form of punishment used by various religious groups to banish one member of the group.

Another favourite tactic women use is the whisper campaign. I work with a woman who wrote the manual on the whisper campaign. She is toxic, and she has caused long-lasting harm to people's lives.

Why do women do these things to each other? Is it biologically programmed into them? It doesn't seem to matter what their level of education, or their hierarchy in the organization, they can be counted on to act like women. For International Women's Day, I would like to see women in the workplace treat each other with respect. That would be an achievement.

Ashes And Snow ... Gregory Colbert

Gregory Colbert is a Canadian photographer and this wonderful photograph (click photo to enlarge) is part of his exhibit "Ashes and Snow". According to an article by Alan Riding in "The New York Times", “The power of the images comes less from their formal beauty than from the way they envelop the viewer in their mood. . . .They are simply windows to a world in which silence and patience govern time.”

As Gregory Colbert says, “When I started Ashes and Snow in 1992, I set out to explore the relationship between man and animals from the inside out. In discovering the shared language and poetic sensibilities of all animals, I am working towards restoring the common ground that once existed when people lived in harmony with animals.”

"Every culture from the Egyptians to the Mayans to the American Indians to the Bedouins created bestiaries that enabled them to express their relationship with nature. Ashes and Snow is a 21st-century bestiary filled with species from around the world. Nature’s orchestra includes not just Homo sapiens but elephants, whales, manatees, eagles, cheetahs, orangutans, and many others."

I have always believed that animals are more like humans than not ... well, humans on a good day, that is. We should be so lucky as to be more like animals. They have a dignity that we seem to have lost, and maybe they have something to teach us.

How Can We Make Them Go Away...?

This past week I have been immersed in work nonsense projects, and have only recently emerged from my cave office.  Having been out of touch, I was curious to find out what had been going on in the world lately.  I switched on CNN.   The biggest news on all the news networks was -- Charlie Sheen? Are they kidding? Really ... are they kidding?  Has Charlie Sheen looked in a mirror lately?  He looks at least a decade older than he is, and he looks ill, gaunt and dissipated, with dark circles under his eyes.  He reminds me of someone we would see stumbling around the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver.  It would seem that all of the recreational chemicals he has been using have fried his brains as well.  He referred to himself as a "high priest Vatican assassin warlock". Say what?  Just go away, Charlie; you're a bore.

And while we're at it, how do we get rid of the rest of these people?

Lady Gaga actually has a beautiful voice. The lady can sing, but does she really have to keep showing her crotch in her music videos?  Is that art?  Recently, a little ten-year old girl shared the stage with Gaga, singing "I Was Born This Way".  Has the child's mother actually watched the video?  The next person to follow Lady Gaga is going to push the envelope even further, and we will all accept it.  That scares me.  Please go away, Lady Gaga.

Oprah has her OWN network. *Y-A-W-N* First of all, I have never liked people telling me how to think. A typical Oprah quote: "My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." Say what?  News flash, Oprah, most people, out of necessity, live their lives as reactions to others' actions.  It's a dance we all do.  You're very, very wealthy now, Oprah, so please go away.

What can one say, when a 17 year-old boy's latest haircut makes world headlines?  Will future sociologists and anthropologists look upon this as odd?  Will they wonder what a strange society we had constructed for ourselves?  I mean, think about it.  Really think about it.  A 17 year-old boy gets his hair cut and it's headline news in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.  You're a very wealthy young man now, Justin.  Please just go away.  Or better yet, go back to school.

Is this a crazy world or what?

The More Things Change...

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...   I have learned that, sometimes in life it is sufficent just to wait and patience will prevail ...

He that can have patience can have what he will.
~~ Benjamin Franklin

All things come round to him who will but wait.
~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.
~~ Dutch proverb

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bring Back Political Incorrectness...

Watching the Oscars the other night was like watching an episode of "Sesame Street". I love James Franco and Anne Hathaway, but not as hosts of "Hollywood's biggest night". Franco phoned it in, and Anne was delightful, but was doing all the work. It was painful. I remember watching Academy Award ceremonies that were hosted by Bob Hope. He was edgy, entertaining, irreverent, politically incorrect, and really, really funny.

Every year, folks complain the show is too long and too boring -- which it is. Most of us are not interested in best animated short film, or sound mixing, or short live action film. We're mostly interested in the big five -- best supporting actor, best supporting actress, best actor, best actress and best film. All the rest is a big yawn. The Oscar show should be about the show itself. It's a major production, and Hollywood is a company town; they're in the business of entertaining us. So entertain us, already...

I was mortified for Melissa Leo dropping the "F" bomb during her acceptance speech. It wasn't bleeped out here in Canada, so we all heard it. But you have to admit, it was the most memorable moment of the evening.  It was the main topic of conversation the next day.

I thought Ricky Gervais was amazing hosting the Golden Globes. He was ... edgy, entertaining, irreverent, politically incorrect, and really, really funny. Please invite him to host the Oscars next year. We're big kids, we can take it. No more "Sesame Street" ... please.