Sunday, March 20, 2011

Nurturing Our Souls...

Branches with Almond Blossom
Vincent van Gogh
1890

Tomorrow is the first day of spring, and I have decided to make a whole new paradigm shift in my life. I have decided to stop being around people who really don't like me. We all have them in our lives -- family members, co-workers -- people who barely tolerate us, and in that subliminal intolerance, they make us feel like pond scum.

Rapport is a strange, elusive thing that we either have with someone, or we don't.  Someone once wisely said, "We can't make people love us, but we can make them hate us..."  It's very true.  It's puzzling when someone doesn't like us.  We wonder why.  But there it is -- they don't like us.  Period.  It is depessing as h*ll to be  around people with whom our every word and every movement is questioned.  "Why did you do that?  Why did you say that?  What do you mean by that...?"  It can drain the lifeforce out of us.

In the alternative, when we are around people who like us -- who see who we are -- we feel good about ourselves.  I have friends like that.  They see me, they know me and they like me.  And I enjoy being around them.  It is a nourishing to our souls to be with people with whom we can be ourselves, unconditionally and without fear of judgement.  They know we have no hidden agendas, no covert strategies or plans, just "what you see is what you get."

My plan for this day forward is to spend my time with people who nurture my soul, and for whom I can return the favour.  Life is too short to spend any time with people who do not like me, starting tomorrow when I'm going to tell our department manager to put my job where the sun never shines that I am leaving there and taking some art courses, something I love to do.  Nurturing my soul begins with me.

25 comments:

June said...

Wow, you're really going to turn over a new leaf, aren't you! Good for you!
I agree wholeheartedly about avoiding people who make you feel like dirt. Why does it take us so long to figure out that being around people who are nice to us is healthier??? I have only reached the same conclusion in the last couple of years!

Andrew said...

What you are going to say to your manager is pretty much the same thing I did almost 3 years ago and I have never regretted it.

DJan said...

Good for you! It will be interesting to follow your journey here in Blogland. I know you will be good in whatever you decide to do! I applaud your decision.

KrippledWarrior said...

WoW!!! quitting your job... Have yo seen the movie "OFFICE SPACE"??? See it.

Lorac said...

That's amazing! Good for you. A super resolution.

Charles Gramlich said...

the best of luck to you!

Leslie: said...

It's about time you put yourself first instead of waiting around for others to make their decision. Do what you want/need to do in your time and you will never regret it.

standing applause

fourwilkies said...

If you are serious about leaving your job you are very brave, and I wish you the very best! There are some nice, positive people and good jobs out there!

leilani said...

Yes Jo! as a whole, a combined planet we need to STOP tolerating the negative and LIVE in the positve!

Jan said...

Hurray (clapping in the gallery)
Well done you .Look forward to reading about your new adventures.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yes, it does. A very ancient saying,attributed to Rabbi Hillel, circa 110BCE,says, "If I am not for me, who, then, will be for me?" As women in our society, we are raised to put ourselves last in all things, but in truth, we cannot give endlessly from an empty well. It is time for you to remove yourself from those who do not value you as you deserve, and to do the things that nourish your soul. Sometimes the life you most need to save is your own.

Elise said...

Good for you!

Carl said...

Congrats. Being around people who are supportive makes all the difference.

Kym said...

One small step makes all the difference Jo! Good for you and good luck in your new journey! :)

jojo said...

Best wishes to you Jo! Do what you have to do to feed your soul, it really is all that matters and every good thing will flow from it. ;j

The Bug said...

Woo hoo Jo! I'm proud of you!

My sister-in-law really does NOT like me. I've always thought she was crazy, but entertaining, so I put up with the fact that I knew she hated me. But last year she had a screaming fit at my husband (her husband's brother) & now I don't have to be around her anymore. I refuse to go to her house and, in fact, haven't seen her in about a year and a half. It really is liberating.

LG said...

I have just stumbled upon your blog, and must saym this first post? I totally agree with you, and you go girl! Life is definitely too precious to spend with people who don't like you!!! Even being on your own good company is much better than with someone who just misuses you and upsets your day! Look forward to reading more of your stuff here

Have a wonderful Spring, we are moving into Autumn, my favourite time of the year in itself...

LG

PhilipH said...

Congratulations Jo! Good for you.
I've been through something very similar some years ago and have to say it was one of the best moves I've ever made.

NEVER let the bastards grind you down. Just get rid of 'em!

Three cheers for Jo!

Paula Slade said...

Wow Jo that's awesome news!!

From your posts you've been contemplating this for some time, and the equinox is a perfect launch.

Go forth and nurture your soul. :)

Indian Pundit said...

i sincerely hope that you will find REAL happiness and total success in whatever you do.

Best of luck Jo

Marguerite said...

Good for you, Jo! I totally agree with you about these people who "drain the lifeforce out of us". Life is too short to deal with them! Best of luck and Happy Spring!

Hope said...

I changed jobs a few months ago and it's been a GREAT mental health boost. Being around that type of person really wears you down...I didn't realize how much until I left. Kudos!!!

@ly said...

Good Luck to you! I give you 100% credit for getting rid of the bad in your life!! Kudos!

Whitney Lee said...

Go you! You have courage, don't you? Good for you. I wish you much happiness on your new course.

Dianne Montgomery Hocut said...

You go girl! I can really relate to giving up on people who do not like you. I've been on Facebook for over six years now and have gone from hundreds of "friends" to just a handful. I use to "friend" all those energy zappers you blog about. So what if I don't have a kazillion friends on Facebook...and, I do get a really big kick out of pushing that DELETE button!