Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Powerless...

Ophelia Among the Flowers
Odilon Redon
1905

Do you ever get the feeling that your life is spiralling out of control, and you can't do anything to stop it? It is the most terrifying feeling.  I am in a state of chronic worry and frustration.  I try to hide it -- but my get-up-and-go got up and went...  I am unable to sleep, and I feel as if I'm trapped in the middle of a hurricane that I am powerless to stop.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone happy.  I just want everyone to be happy...  My mother used to say, "Life is short, and we're dead a long time..."  Shouldn't we spend our time on earth being happy?  Why is that so difficult?

I live such a quiet, ordinary life. I am the most boring person I know. I love my routine, and I love having nice things around me.  Life is meant to be enjoyed ... isn't it?  Isn't it?

I just want everyone to be happy...!!!!

I do apologize, but I just needed to vent.  Thank you for listening.  I bought a LottoMax ticket today, and on Friday I am going to win $46,000,000.  It's my turn, don't you think?

29 comments:

DJan said...

I am so sorry to hear you are in this state, Jo. I wish I knew what to say, but "I'm truly sorry" will have to suffice. Whatever is causing this, I sincerely hope and pray that it will pass soon.

Jo said...

Djan, thank you. I pray it will pass soon too. :-)

lgsquirrel said...

I like this Shirley Bassey song

"Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all"

But it's bad advice. Don't internalise it. Find a way to let off your worries and frustrations. I am sad that you are down.

Jo said...

Calvin, thank you. :-) The worst part is, I feel so helpless.

Nicole said...

I'm so so so sorry that you are experiencing this! I know excatly what it is like to feel so helpless and hopeless. It is not something I would wish on anyone. I hop and pray that it passes soon for you.

Nicole said...

Darn it! That should be HOPE not hop. Although...perhaps you could hop away from it.

And my silly joke for the day, in hope of giving you a smile...

What is a pirate's least favorite color?

Maroon ;-)

Jo said...

Nicole, thank you for the giggle. *heh* And yes, I hop and pray it passes soon too. :-)

Nancy said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, Jo. I do hope you can get it under wraps, so to speak.

Sometimes when we feel really uncomfortable it's a signal that it's time to change something in our lives.

Love & light!

Ruth D~ said...

Sigh. Seems like life is like that--a series of waves that sometimes lift us, and sometimes pull us under. Sometimes all you can do is wait for the tide to turn. And know that it will. It always does. Still... it's hard to be under water for a while. Spring's coming. Will the sunlight help?

budh.aaah said...

Oh Jo its so very sad to see a beautiful person like you suffer so. Not that its of any use or solace but I am going through a tough time myself and my dear friend I understand what you are going through.
Peace and loads of love and hugs for you

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I'm so awfully sorry. I can relate to this because dealing with my husband's Alzheimer's feels exactly like that, a hurricane not of my own making.

I send you my deepest wishes for the peace you crave, Jo. And if all else fails, we can run away to Paris.

Alicia said...

Sometimes we just need to vent dear Jo! I'm glad you did and I hope it helps. I think if we all took Nicole's advice and hopped a little it might help us all :-)

The Bug said...

I'm sorry you're in a whirlwind! I often channel the things around me so that I can get into a state from all of the external drama.

For you I wish a calm center that will hold while you navigate this...

June said...

I just want everybody to be happy, too.
Some people resist being happy, despite all efforts to make it so.
Maybe it's time to withdraw and let them enjoy their misery and stop killing yourself over it?

@ly said...

I always want things to be easy breezy too and I guess that is why when it is not ...it is so disturbing. I will pray for you that an Angel (in some form or another) will get you through this.

Linda Myers said...

I have some people in my life who get into the most horrendous situations, and I used to worry myself sick over them. I've become much more selfish and let them do whatever it is without my getting sucked in.

May be completely irrelevant to your situation, but that's my best response.

Cloudia said...

We can share the truth, we friends




Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

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Katy said...

I agree Jo, we waist too much time not being happy. Vent your frustrations - at least in that you can find comfert. And to the lotto - my mother always says, "you have to be in it to win it."

Whitney Lee said...

The hopeless part is the worst, I'm sure. It's always a bit easier if we can take action of some sort, feel like we're contributing. I've struggled quite a bit watching those I love go through difficult misery while I sit and watch. It's awful. Don't apologize for venting; it's healthy.

Sending warm thoughts your way.

young-eclectic-encounters said...

You can't make anybody else happy. You can only carry a happy spirit and contenence and hope it rubs off.
Surround yourself with the things you love and read uplighting books and thoughts and hopefully your spirits will lift.
Johnina :^A

Firefly said...

You are the sharing type, aren't you? (Just in case you win the draw)

Donna B said...

Oh Jo...no...this early into the new year? NO! I am sending you peace and calm. Take ten deep breaths, change into some comfy, loose clothes, sit in your most comfortable and most favorite place in your tree home, put on your favorite music, close your eyes and just listen....then make yourself some of your delicious hot chocolate and just sigh and relax. ((((BIG HUGS)))) to you my dear friend.

With all that is going on in this world at this particular time, it can only feel like a huge boulder rolling down hill if you have any discord going on within your own life...so it is so important to recapture all the peace and calm you can muster.

(((MORE HUGS)))) and Blessings.

Donna B said...

Jo...go to this blog. She wrote a wonderful post and I think you will enjoy it.

http://chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.com/

Russell said...

A few thoughts.

Force yourself to get physical exercise. You won't want to do it but it helps a lot. Take a walk and just keep walking for 20 or 30 minutes. Believe me, it will help.

Force yourself to do SOMETHING as in going to the art gallery, visiting a shopping mall, going to a movie -- even calling a friend you haven't talked to for a bit.

The idea is to shake up your routine a bit and allow your mind to take a break from ... life.

It does not have to be a big thing. Just do something easy - like taking a walk - and it will make a BIG difference.

One of these days I am going to do such things myself!! Heh!

ivan said...

Cheer up.

You could be seventy--and even then I'm lying.
...The Red Queen syndrome. I exercize like mad in the snow.
Jump like crazy to stay in the same place. Works for me. :)

Blue Ridge Mountains said...

Russell's advice sounds the best. Have you tried vitamin D. In the winter time we sometimes need this extra vitamin.

Kathryn said...

I know we all wish we could "fix it" for you. You are such a joy in my life, Jo, and it is such a delight to read what you share. Hope and pray it will soon slip away.

(BTW, how is your vitamin D level? That can effect so much.)

Hugs to you!

kenju said...

Good luck with the lotto ticket.

I'm sorry you had to vent - but you are welcome to do so anytime. Hope that before long, you no longer have to vent!

gilmar said...

I will pray for you! But money don´t works for this situation. Seek god.