Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Geography of Men and Women

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages ... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran ...

... ruled by nuts.




NB: No offense is meant to Iran, or to nuts, or to nuts who rule Iran... so I hope none is taken...

33 comments:

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Very clever and wise. As a squirrel, I too am ruled by nuts so I too am offended by being compared with those ruling Iran or indeed with men 1- 70 years of age. I may sue......for nuts.

the walking man said...

You know what they say Jo: "The king is dead, Long live the king!"

kat said...

Great posting!
Well done Geography!

So I am an Israeli now.... good....Just let me settle the mess that is going on over there all the time! Take care of business straight away!

and as for men, Jo...do you want to take on and post about that 13 year old Brit Dad that is the latest uproar over there now? I haven't read the details...

Firefly said...

The Damselfly wanted to know if I think she really is like Greece.

As for me. Over time I will become a world traveller. LOL

jackc50 said...

i would be offended by your geography lesson but i'm still laughing.....and still nuts too!!!. only seventy? with viagara and everything else.....watch out tibet....jc

susie said...

Love the post. I forwarded the link to my friends so they could see it too!

greenpanda said...

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Yes, very good........ I am definitely ruled by nuts. I like Britain though........

Carla said...

I love this! I'm happy to be Canada and I've always been fascinated with Tibet. But, dang, I want to be Spain again. Those were the best times of my life.

Nerissa said...

Wonderful analysis. So I am Europe now!..I love this post!..

Charles Gramlich said...

One thing is agreed upon. Women are more complicated than men.

PinkPanthress said...

I'm speechless! :D This is awesome!!!

uought2b.a.dog said...

That is hilarious!!!

Russell said...

I am sure a fan of Canada....

Arley said...

I love your sense of humor Jo!

Lorna said...

Good article, Jo! And men should not take offense, because clearly, it is the truth. :-)

Men are hard-wired that way. It is a built-in inclination to assure that the human race continues.


~Lorna

L8on said...

hahahahaha, you just made my day ... !! Thankks

movingonlady said...

Very, very funnie. I like your post and thanks for the laugh I needed it.

Carl said...

LOL- Thats a great post.

Shaista said...

Dear Jo,
This is nothing to do with today's post - but despite having read so many of your old posts I have been unable to discover who or what are the Munchkins??? Tell me please!
xxShai

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh that was brilliantly clever. I do love the last line, 'ruled by nuts' Isn't that truly the case.

bright blessings!

John said...

Loved that! I was with you up until "after 70," which is my Mom's category. I must keep my comments on that to myself!

BeNC said...

Well, I wonder... if guys are ruled by nuts, so if a girl or woman is to be married to a man in the near future, in other words, that particular woman is ruled by a person who is directly ruled by nuts, so what makes that woman eventually?

But this post is hilarious though, LoL.

Lover of Life said...

You have it down! LOL!

Boomer Chick said...

LOL, you are so right on. ;o)

Hurricane Me said...

how wonderful! clever and witty, i love it!

Jan said...

Very funny post. My guy friends will not agree on a matter of principle, but I guess they have to grin and bear it. Splendid. :)

scarlethue said...

not really related to your very humorous post but... I love Mucha! He's my fav. My husband bought me a tiny original print for our first Christmas together, a woman huddled in a swirling blue wrap with blue wind streaking past and blowing her brunette hair. I thought maybe it was from a calendar (it says Mars underneath, March in French) but when i unframed it, it's an old postcard. I've gotten it reframed now so you can tell it's a postcard, and it's one of my most cherished possessions.

Kevin Wicks said...

Very amusing although I suspect Iranians may differ,

Marlene said...

Well done! Oh, to be in Spain again....

TheChicGeek said...

Perfectly well put and true! Your geography is perfect in both time and place :)

jerome said...

if only I was thought like that in school, I would have remembered all those countries ;P

white crow said...

heheheee....
u mean women age old, they change like seasons, and yet they are proud and content on having such wavering personality!!!
well, i m 18, and i m sure men don't age till 70 XD, and we have fixed persona so rely upon till then...
god bless u Jo and let him grant you a long life so that u can live in Tibet :)

Term Papers said...

Very, very funnie. I like your post and thanks for the laugh I needed it.


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