Monday, August 31, 2009

The Country Preacher

One Sunday morning a perplexed southern preacher addressed his congregation.

"Someone in this congregation has been spreading a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I'm embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I would like the person or persons who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved. The preacher continued.

"Can you stand and face me and admit this is a falsehood? You will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now please stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a beautiful blonde rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice trembled as she spoke.

"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."


ivan said...


Alissa said...

Hee hee. There's a moral here, I'm sure.

Tova Darling said...

I laughed out loud when I read this, the immediately read it to my husband. Good joke!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I love surprise endings.

Mean Mama said...

Very funny. Beautiful picture. I just got home from the Chesapeake Bay and I saw some churches that look like the one in this picture.

Jennifer D said...

Oh Boy!!!

Better than being KKK.

Land of shimp said...

Haha! That was marvelous, and made me smile, thank you for that.

You know what's funny? I was once told a similar joke by my brother. In one of those oddities in life, my brother was raised Catholic, and I was raised Anglican/Episcopal (yeah, I know, weird, and a very long story on top of that).

Well, the joke is about a preacher giving a fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. His bike has been stolen, you see, and he is going to find the thief by watching to see who turns red at "Thou shalt not steal!"

After the sermon, the preacher is asked by one of his friends how it went and he gives a very animated account. His congregation is guilty of almost everything! They all turned red at one point or another!

So, he didn't find his bike? The friend asks.

"Oh yes, I found it. I got to the sixth commandment, and I remembered where I left my bike!"

I was staring in horror as my brother delivered the punch line. "The...wha...the priest was a murderer???"

"No, adultery. Thou shalt not commit adultery! Don't you get it?"

It took us twenty minutes to figure out that in CCD (Catholic Christian Doctrine) the sixth commandment is about adultery, in the Anglican church? It's the seventh.

Religious humor, it can be tricky.

A human kind of human said...

Even preachers must be careful what they ask for.

la aventurista said...

hahahahahahahahaha that's great!

Allen said...

hehe tee hee hee that is funny Jo.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Q: What fun do priests have?

A: Nun

Okay, okay. This was meant as a joke. I have full respect for men and women of the cloth. I just thought it was similarly wicked as your tale, Jo.

the walking man said...

Well said and too true.

greenpanda said...


Mary said...

Jo, I stumbled on your blog this morning and I'm so glad I did. I'll be back to visit often.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Having been raised in the south with all the fears and prejudice in abundance, I can so relate to this story!

Anonymous said...

that is good ha ha


Well I got lucky; your great joke, and then 2 more jokes from your readers. Great!

Let me leave one (although it's not religious)......

The man says to his wife that's it's time for him to go to the social security office to apply for his benefits now that he's turned 65 years old.

The next day he arrives at the social security office; gets in with the clerk, and discovers he's forgotten his social security card.

He's quite upset, and decides to try and use his 'charms' on her; he compliments her - he does the normal 'woe is me' thing, and asks if there's any way she can process the paperwork without his card since he does remember his number.

She's taken by his charm; asks him to just show the gray hairs on his chest, since he's totally bald, and she needs some type of evidence he is indeed, 'old'. He opens up his shirt; shows her the gray hairs, and gets the paperwork done, and returns home.

The man proceeds to tell his wife about what happened; he tells her he only had to open his shirt up to show the gray hairs, to get approval for his benefits.

His wife looks up from her reading and dryly says: "If you'd have dropped your pants, you'd have gotten disability too!"

There, now there are 4 jokes for your readers to chuckle over.

Have a good week - fondly, Diane

Anonymous said...

ha ha that is a good one Diane

Paula Slade said...

At first I didn't know where your story was going - that was funny Jo!!