Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Aw... Ya Gotta Laugh...

You know, here in Canada, we love Americans. We really do. Americans are sort of like our "cool" cousins. They're glamorous and wonderfully dazzling. They live in this big, huge country next door, and they have larger-than-life people who live there, such as -- oh, Donald Trump, Steven Spielberg, Bill Clinton, Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood, Elizabeth Taylor, Britney Spears, any of the Kennedys -- these people could only be American. There's no mistaking any one of them for Canadian. And they have all these amazing things such as the Grand Canyon, the Empire State Building ... California. We don't have anything like that in Canada.

Here in Canada, we're happy with being Canadian, for all the reasons I have listed in my previous posts. We're a great little, unassuming country. We're clean, we're polite, we're quietly intelligent. And we're always thrilled when our Americans cousins visit our country, and discover how beautiful it is. We feel like Sally Fields when she won the Oscar for "Norma Rae".

"You like us ... you really like us ...!"

So, imagine our dismay when we were dragged -- kicking and screaming -- into the American Health Care reform debates. Our country was used as a *gasp* example of bad health care. Everywhere we looked -- on the internet, on TV, in the media, in Time Magazine, Canada was being pilloried. No...! How did that happen? We thought you liked us.

Well, it's easy. Whenever anything goes wrong, blame Canada. It's probably our fault anyway, so -- why not. Oh, goodness, everyone needs a scapegoat. But you know what? We still love our American cousins, no matter what...

Here's Robin Williams singing the Oscar nominated "Blame Canada" at the 2000 Academy Awards. I've posted the lyrics underneath the video so you can sing along. It's too much fun...!

Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?
blame Canada
Blame Canada

With all their beady little eyes
And flapping heads so full of lies

Blame Canada
Blame Canada

We need to form a full assault
It's Canada's fault!
Don't blame me
For my son Stan
He saw the darn cartoon
And now he's off to join the Klan!
And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelf
But now when I see him he tells me to f*ck myself!
blame Canada
Blame Canada

It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came along

Blame Canada
Blame Canada

They're not even a real country anyway
My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true,
Instead he burned up like a piggy on the barbecue
Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
Heck no!
Blame Canada
Blame Canada

With all their hockey hullabaloo
And that bitch Anne Murray too

Blame Canada
Shame on Canada

The smut we must stop
The trash we must bash
The Laughter and fun
Must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!


The Bug said...

Oh that was hilarious! I remember that song & how fun it was because it was so preposterous.

I just told my hubby that we should move to Canada - we're trying to decide between the insurance with his new job or keeping the coverage we have with my job. It's giving us a headache!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You Canadians are such good sports! You put us Americans to shame!

lovelyprism said...

Oh that was too fun! I just love Robin Williams. The "mounties" were too cute!
Don't worry, anything we blame you for, B.O. will apologize for sooner or later. Seriously! He's apologized to just about everybody else in the world.

Mean Mama said...

We're glamorous? You should see me after a hot afternoon chasing two toddlers around a park. I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ugh!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

If I were a country, especially one as intelligent, beautiful and humane as Canada, I would very much resent being used as a bad example of anything by the loud, obnoxious upstarts next door.

One tiiiiiny little correction, though... Elizabeth Taylor was born in England, which is practically the same as Canada, and brought to America as a young child by her stage mama, along with her brother Howard, to be in movies. As soon as Howard realized what was at stake, he shaved his head the night before a big audition. I don't know if she is a naturalized American citizen after all these years, but rather doubt it.


Ah, but you have the Canadian Royal Mounted Police; back in 1968 I saw a couple - now they are exceptional!

I live not far from both California (11 miles) and the Grand Canyon (180 miles) - 90 miles from Las Vegas, so I can get to some beautiful nature, and some goofy 'nuts and honey' (as we call those people who live in California).

It is a great country; just ignore the health-care issue; they're hitting on all the other major countries too, so since it's all political and not many people believe the tripe, rest-assured we hold a great regard for your country - an ALL it represents.

ivan said...

Funny thing. They found much the same lay in hieroglyphs in ancient Egypt. But there, it was "blame Abyssinia." Ah well. We're all starting to look a bit Ethiopian.

the walking man said...

Jo it is apparent that you watch to much MSM TV. Personally I read the news so I can process what is being read slower than a talking head delivers it. Try HGTV or The Food Channel.

Again...How is anything south of you going to affect the health care you Canadians pay for? I have always thought you over taxed the hell out of yourselves but then you spend the money where it needs be spent. So it is not to high a price to pay is it?

*shrug* Canada is Canada and the US is the US, two completely different cultures. The idiots who use Canada (or Britain or France) as negative examples to scare people do so simply because they are "white nations."

White Americans are so easily manipulated and of course any whip to turn the herd will be used.

You should be proud of the power Canada has to sway America.

greenpanda said...

Robin Williams, that song and that movie are great.
Candad is a great country, and I think it's ridiculous how the healthcare argument has treated you.

the walking man said...

Here is an article in today's Detroit paper that shows how GREAT the Canadian system is. I mean that GREAT is the only way to describe your health ministries.

Anonymous said...

You know before I became an internet addict, I don't think I ever even met a Canadian in my entire life. Oh I was aware of many of the TV and movie stars from there, (Michael J. Fox is one of my very favorites) but not any "real" people. Since I've been web-surfing and social networking I've met many. I can honestly say there's only been one who was a real jerk. You guys really are as nice, kind and friendly as I'd always heard you were (your neighbor Su-Marie and the one jerk I ran into being the exceptions.)

pranksygang said...

ha ha ha :) you are amazing dear! i never thought your post will have such a twist!

TC said...

That is hilarious! I love Robin Williams.
Going to read the article in the Detroit paper since the alternative is vacuuming!

Arley said...

Obama and his healthcare BS has driven us Americans nuts. Anyone in their right mind knows you can't force Americans to use Government Issued Insurance. For those of us who have great healthcare of our own choice, would never let it happen. Don't take his BS personally, he's an idiot and will get his in the long run!!

Cedar said...

I think Americans look at Canada as their attic...when we go up there we are like...LOOK AT ALL THIS GREAT STUFF...

Paula Slade said...

OMG!!! When did Williams do this?!? It's so over-the-top it's funny!!!