You know, here in Canada, we love Americans. We really do. Americans are sort of like our "cool" cousins. They're glamorous and wonderfully dazzling. They live in this big, huge country next door, and they have larger-than-life people who live there, such as -- oh, Donald Trump, Steven Spielberg, Bill Clinton, Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood, Elizabeth Taylor, Britney Spears, any of the Kennedys -- these people could only be American. There's no mistaking any one of them for Canadian. And they have all these amazing things such as the Grand Canyon, the Empire State Building ... California. We don't have anything like that in Canada.
Here in Canada, we're happy with being Canadian, for all the reasons I have listed in my previous posts. We're a great little, unassuming country. We're clean, we're polite, we're quietly intelligent. And we're always thrilled when our Americans cousins visit our country, and discover how beautiful it is. We feel like Sally Fields when she won the Oscar for "Norma Rae".
"You like us ... you really like us ...!"
So, imagine our dismay when we were dragged -- kicking and screaming -- into the American Health Care reform debates. Our country was used as a *gasp* example of bad health care. Everywhere we looked -- on the internet, on TV, in the media, in Time Magazine, Canada was being pilloried. No...! How did that happen? We thought you liked us.
Well, it's easy. Whenever anything goes wrong, blame Canada. It's probably our fault anyway, so -- why not. Oh, goodness, everyone needs a scapegoat. But you know what? We still love our American cousins, no matter what...
Here's Robin Williams singing the Oscar nominated "Blame Canada" at the 2000 Academy Awards. I've posted the lyrics underneath the video so you can sing along. It's too much fun...!
Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?
No, blame Canada
With all their beady little eyes
And flapping heads so full of lies
We need to form a full assault
It's Canada's fault!
Don't blame me
For my son Stan
He saw the darn cartoon
And now he's off to join the Klan!
And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelf
But now when I see him he tells me to f*ck myself!
Well, blame Canada
It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came along
They're not even a real country anyway
My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true,
Instead he burned up like a piggy on the barbecue
Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
With all their hockey hullabaloo
And that bitch Anne Murray too
Shame on Canada
The smut we must stop
The trash we must bash
The Laughter and fun
Must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!