Monday, April 6, 2009

What's Your Excuse?

I am notoriously late for work every day -- not by much, only a couple of minutes, and I make the time up. But it's a rare day when I can actually get there on time. I think it's subconsciously my way of rebelling against the fact that I have to work. But occasionally there are valid reasons why I am late, and my reasons always sound completely ridiculous. Strange things happen to me, like the trolley buses come off the trolley wires, and everything is stalled. A couple of times my dishwasher flooded the kitchen, the living room, and the suite below me. On one occasion we had a false alarm fire at 7:00 a.m., and I was standing outside on the street in my nightgown, when I should have been at work.

True story!

So, today, I laughed when I clicked onto the CNN website and read 12 creative excuses people had invented used for why they were late for work.

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.

3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.

5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.

7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.

8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.

9. My father didn't wake me up.

10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.

11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.

12. I had to go to bingo.

Number 3 makes perfect sense to me. I think I might use it the next time I am late for work.

28 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I would save these "excuses" for later use.....but I am self-employed. Hate when I find something I lkie, but can't use!

Linda S. Socha said...

Jo This is hysterical. I have experienced some of these...believe it or not....Now I just attribute any lateness to traffic...I can get away with that being self employed
Linda

Kym said...

I laughed quite hard at some of those late excuses and I have to agree with you on #3, what a great excuse! The last one was the most odd, but still made me laugh...thanks for sharing!

introspection said...

No: 5 works for me. All of them are pretty good excuses, but if you say you had to make only right turns, no one will think it's been cooked up, plus it will make the other person laugh. I did.
This was a fun post, Jo.

the walking man said...

I am not anal about anything but being on time. If anything makes me nervous it's having the clock hand past the appointed minute when I walk through a door. That longer finger in the face always accusing me of being late...Even though I have been off work for a decade this has not changed.

That said...The one excuse I used that always worked the few times I was late (remember I was an auto mechanic surrounded by guys)...

"Sorry I was late but the wife and I were having sex and that seemed more important..."

Firefly said...

My bosse's excuse for being very late every day is that he works late after office hours and is due the time. It doesn't apply to the rest of us though.

KathyB. said...

That's funny, because when I read #3 I thought to myself " self, you know you would do that!" and lo and behold, I read to the end and see you think #3 is reasonable too! That and #11, only in my case it would be that there were humongus trees over our driveway and road. And that HAS happened here a few times.

Hope you make it to work on time tomorrow, but you never know when a spider will spin and weave a web over your door frame....

A human kind of human said...

Hilarious! I wish I could sometimes be late for work but I get picked up by bus everyday and if I am late for the bus, they phone me and ask where I am.

Jo, please let me have your E-Mail address for your interview questions. You can send it to ms.ajoli4@gmail.com.

Autumn Twig said...

this was so funny :)

Miss_Nobody said...

Late at work,gee none for schools? lol

Ruby Isabella said...

Number 1 was the best. It is life and death.

Leah Fry said...

My favorite true excuse: my horses got out and I had to hunt them down. That might not work in the city, but it's legit in rural North Texas.

Patricia Torres said...

These are hillarious.. I dont beleive people can actually say these!! I must try one of them for sure!! Maybe 3... I'll let you know how i get along!

Book pusher said...

I love no.8, very funny. What is really wierd, is yesterday a collegue who is extremely reliable came in late and the reason; when she got up that morning she found her car was covered in bat poo and she had to go get it washed off. A legitimate reason, it strips paint, we have problems with large populations of fruit bats.

Andrea said...

These all sound great - I think I'll try all 12!

greenpanda said...

Oh yes, I would so be late for no. #3.

Deb said...

those are funny, I don't like being late, I'm the one that leaves early just in case something bad happens, my children on the other hand did not get that from me. It drove me crazy when they were in school trying to get them out the door and on time, their teachers finally just new they would be there right as the bell was ringing or just as it stopped

Carla said...

Some of these are so funny!

I'm more likely to be early than late, but once...when I lived in Colorado, I was late to work because my landlord's goat ran over me. Really! Had little goat prints on my dress. And I was late because I had to catch Clancy and get him back into his stall.

Jelica said...

I think they are all hillarious but my favorite is number 5

ivan said...

These are hilarious.

I remember my old editor at CANADIAN PANORAMA, a section of the Star Weekly asking, after I was two hours late,"What ya been doin'--writing you book?"
I didn't admit what I'd been doing. Making Martinis all night and sampling the product.

Paula Slade said...

Gosh, so many choices! Hmmm... I think I use number ten! ;-)

Arley said...

Even though I don't know how to drive, I think I like #2 the best!!! Too funny!

jackc50 said...

as long as you get there.......jack c

Nancy said...

I'm late every day too. I sneak in the side door so no one notices, but I guess I could be more bold about it now that I have all of these great excuses. They're all funny, but I like #8 the best if we're voting.

Alan said...

Jo
I discovered your blog through my wife Stephanie's blog Bah To Cancer! and enjoyed reading it. I was therefore delighted to see that you have decided to become a follower. I have done the same for your own beautiful blog.
I was sorry to read recently that Life on Mars was being taken off. I loved the first UK series, although I was less happy with the second.
Now it is time to read "What's Your Excuse"

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Number 3 was my favorite, too. It's believable, which any successful lie should be.

And I think you should add that they are extremely lucky to have you there at all, regardless of what time it is.

lovelyprism said...

haha! I just wrote about being constantly late. I lose time like an alien abductee, so that is my story and I'm sticking to it... I was abducted by aliens.

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